The Road is a Minefield
by Unforgettable.Love
Summary: It's a classic case of boy meets girl; except when the girl turns out to be afraid of the boy and soon gets a case of amnesia. With little memories to go on, will she try to remember or will she be content with things as they are?
1. Chapter 1

Please read in 1/2 setting.

The Road is a Minefield

_Chapter 1:_

Aimer à première vue?

* * *

My arms get cold,  
In February air.  
Please don't lose hold of me, out there.

And I know you're near me.  
I know you understand.  
Say that you're with me.  
Say you know my face like the back of your hands.

_February Air by Lights_

_

* * *

  
_

"Honey, can you grab the last few packages from the moving truck?"

"Sure dad."

"Can you put these in my room?"

"Sure dad."

"Nicoelle? Can you make dinner?"

"Of course, dad."

"You have to cook for 13, okay?"

"Sure. I'll make as much as I can."

"Can you make your spaghetti? It's so good."

"Sure dad."

"How ya holding up, kiddo?"

"Fine."

This was the just of the conversation between my father and I as we unpacked and prepared for the dinner, which I soon found out would consist of a bunch of dad's old friends and their kids, who were all Quillette. It's not like we didn't get along well. Actually, people always mistake him for my brother, because of how alike we look and the way we joke around. My mother used laugh and to say that I inherited my father's genes, and I only got her eyes. My father and I had that natural Quillette tan skin, silky black hair, soft facial features, and small build. However, I'd taken from my mother her purple eyes.

Even though I had the same purple eyes, they were different. My mother's eyes would sparkle when she laughed or smiled. My eyes used to too, but not anymore. They were dull and filled with sadness, if anything. After she passed away, everything seemed to fade. All the things I used to enjoy with my mother was now so unappealing that I cringed at the mere thought. Although he wouldn't say it, my father felt the same way. That's why he moved us out here to La Push. He didn't want to admit it because he's stubborn. He's named after my grandfather, Taran, after all. And if you knew anything about grandpa Taran, you'd know he was _the_ strictest, meanest, crabbiest old man born. But anyway, the reason I'm now in La Push, Washington.

After my mother died a few weeks ago- 2 weeks and 3 days, exactly- we shut down. Despite my frantic cries that night, God didn't listen. He swooped down and stole her from me, from us. For days we didn't eat, we didn't go anywhere, and we didn't even talk. The devastation of my mother's death overwhelmed us. Levi, my mother, had been the kindest, gentlest woman on the earth. She was my best friend. It was cruel for God to take her away from us. She'd never done anything wrong in her life.

"Dad, spaghetti's done," I called, after an hour or so of chopping ingredients and cooking them. The house was empty. Usually, whenever I cooked, mum was sitting on a stool near me, laughing and telling me old stories of her and dad. Occasionally, I'd be the one telling her stories, but never was the house quiet. Mum hated long silences. _'Every second of silence is a waste. Plus, it creeps me out!'_ I couldn't help but frown remembering what she used to say. It was one of those things made me laugh before, but now made me want to cry, because she wasn't here to say that to me anymore.

Dad yelled back from down the hall telling me to leave the stove on low. I answered him back with same, "sure, dad," and left the kitchen.

"La Push," I muttered.

I stood outside my front door, taking in my surroundings. When we'd first pulled up in the moving truck I was too upset to care what was going past us. All I'd been thinking was that it was an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people. None of them knew me. I wasn't planning on going out and making friends. A summer spent in doors, was fine with me. But now that I stopped to really _see_ what was around me, I was in awe. It rained a lot in La Push; there was hardly a day that wasn't wet. Because of this, the greenery was amazing. There was hardly a patch of dirt on the lawns, the forest was the greenest forest I'd ever seen, and a strong woodsy smell floated through the air. It was calming. In a sense it was a familiar but completely new scent, if that made sense. Which it probably didn't.

I stayed outside by myself for a while longer before dad came to call me in.

"They're all coming in a few minutes."

"Twenty minutes, maybe?"

He nodded his head. "Right on the nose, kiddo."

I wanted to tell him not to call me kiddo anymore, but I didn't want to break his heart anymore than it already was. Instead, I forced a smile and after giving him a quick peck on the cheek ran to take a quick shower. As I lathered the vanilla scented shampoo into my hair, I thought about my dad. I had to give him credit. He was trying to get things back to the way they were. In the weeks after my mum's death, he hadn't even spoken much to me, and when he did, he never called me kiddo. Dad used to call me that all the time. Mum used to think it was cute. I was "daddy's little girl," according to her.

I slid down the shower's wall, choking out a sob. This was the first time in weeks that I'd thought about mum and dad from before. The memories brought strong pangs of pain and grief. My arms wrapped around my legs and hugged them close to my chest. I let the tears that had been building up in me flow out. Dad couldn't here me crying; I didn't have to keep it together.

I was brought back to reality when I heard a knock at the door. "Kiddo, they're arriving."

I cleared my throat afraid that my voice would betray me. "Alright dad. I'll be out in a few minutes."

He hesitated. "Alright." I could tell from his tone that he wanted to say something else. He _knew_ I was crying.

Sighing, I finished my shower. I grabbed a pair of Victoria's secret PINK shorts and mum's favorite top. The shorts were short, but decent enough to wear in public and the shirt-that mum gave me before she left- hugged my body snuggly. The shirt was a regular T-shirt, but the bottom of the back had rips, with strings connecting the fabric, exposing my lower back.

I went into the kitchen to check the spaghetti, making sure it hadn't burnt or gotten cold. After setting out a stack of plates and cups, I left to go to the back yard where I could hear laughter. Standing on the porch, I studied the scene before me. There were chairs scattered around the lawn, tables, all under a large tarp. A few of the guests, a beautiful girl, who had a large scar along the side of her face-she was sill pretty, I thought- standing next to a tall, Quillette man, who was bent towards her telling her something that made her smile happily. Next to them was a man sitting in a wheelchair. He was smiling, laughing at something the others were doing.

My attention drifted to a group of six boys-more like men, tall, monstrous looking men- goofing around, striking random poses. Shifting my glance over to my dad, I couldn't fight the smile that formed on my lips, and I smiled the first real smile in a while. He was holding his old photography camera that he let me use on occasions, snapping shots of the boys. He was grinning the biggest grin I'd seen him bear in a while, and I could tell he wasn't faking it.

No one had seen me yet, so I stayed where I was enjoying the scene as it played out before me. It was a few minutes before I realized someone _had_ noticed me. At the feeling of someone watching me, I turned to see one of the boys staring openly at me. He was tall, though not the tallest and had the beautiful skin that every Quillette there had, but-if possible- more beautiful than any of the others. I could see perfectly, from where I stood, the dark black color of his hair and his dark brown eyes.

His eyes locked with mine and I gasped. Suddenly, I wasn't so sad anymore. I didn't feel like I needed to force myself to keep it together because with him there, it was just natural. I wanted to walk the space between us and feel his arms wrapped around me, holding me close to his chest and bending over me whispering like I'd seen the other boy do. A large smile soon replaced his confused look. Following suit, a large grin made it's way onto my features. I don't know how long we both stood there, staring at each other with silly grins on our faces, before the others turned and noticed me. I was too focused on memorizing everything about him, in case he was a dream and decided to disappear.

"Kiddo!" He smiled brightly. "Why don't you join us," he asked, motioning towards the boys.

"I'm fine, dad," I told him, still smiling, my words laced thickly-for some reason- with my old French accent that I thought I'd lost.

The man in the wheelchair and the couple next to him exchanged a few words, before falling into silence. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the boy who first saw me, making his way to me. I felt my heart speed up. Suddenly, I was nervous.

Stopping in front of me, he held his hand out for me to grab. "Hi. I'm Paul."

Paul. _Paul._ **Paul.**

What a wonderful name. It rung over and over again in my head.

I was too distracted and nervous to formulate a reply, so I stood there gaping at him. "Hi, um, I'm Nicoelle. But call me, uh, Nikki."

_Smooth_.

I reached out and grabbed his hand. He was hot! Literally, he was boiling hot! But I didn't move my hand. His fingers intertwined with mine and he brought me over to the other boys, who were smiling at me, knowing looks on their faces.

"Smile for the camera, Kiddo!"

Still holding Paul's hand, and surrounded by five other gorgeous Quillette boys, I turned to face my dad. I was laughing when he took the first picture. By the time he stopped, he'd taken a good twenty pictures. And after all that time I was _still_ holding Paul's hand.

I didn't plan on letting go so soon.

It didn't look like he did either.

When my dad announced it was time to go inside and eat, I looked up at Paul. He stared down at me, smiling. I was about to speak when my dad interrupted me.

"Nicoelle, aimer à première vue?"

I blushed.

"Dad!" My hand slipped out from under Paul's grip. "J'irai mange!"

And without another word, I ran ahead of everybody into the house. Safely inside the kitchen, I thought of mum and what she'd say about everything that was running through my head. I wondered what she'd think of Paul. A small frown appeared on my face.

"Je souhaite que vous étiez ici, mama."

* * *

Bonjour! This is just a new story that I decided to write today, because I've been in the mood for some Paul. Haven't you? Don't worry, next chapter will have more of the "paul anger". This was sort of a filler chapter, just to get the main character introduced and for you to know where she's coming from. This isn't going to be my main story, I'm stilling working on OTH. But I will try to update this evertime I update OTH, one after the other.

_A little French lesson:_ aimer à première vue? _Love at first sight?_

J'irai mange! _I'm going to go eat!_

Je souhaite que vous étiez ici, mama._ I miss you, mama._

There's a chance that there is going to be a lot of little bits of French scattered in the story. I'll always have the definition down here, just in case.

I hope you liked it. Review!


	2. Chapter 2

The Road is a Minefield

**Chapter 2:**

_Paul's a…?_

I awoke that morning to the incessant ringing of my cell phone. I knew it wouldn't end so I had to force myself to reach over and flip it open.

"Hello?" My voice was hoarse and laced with irritation. I was not a morning person and people around me learn to never be the one to wake me up.

"Um, hey. Is this Nikki?" Aw, he was nervous.

Groggily, I answered, "Yeah. What's up?"

"This is Paul." I knew it was Paul; I could tell from the first moment he spoke. It was weird, like I would probably be able to tell who he was if we hadn't seen each other in months and he suddenly decided to call. My end of the phone was silent as I waited for him to continue. "What are you doing today?"

"I have to unpack the rest of the boxes. Why?"

There was silence and I could tell he was considering if he should ask what he wanted to ask. "Oh." He wasn't going to ask me. "There's a bonfire later tonight, at First Beach. All the guys are going to be there. I wanted to know if you'd like to go."

"Ah. I'll probably be busy the whole day," I murmured.

"Will you come by if you have time?" he questioned, hope laced in his words.

"Sure."

"Great, see you there," he exclaimed. Before I could tell him that I wasn't sure if I would actually make it, he said goodbye and hung up the phone.

Groaning, I threw the sheets off of me. I wouldn't be able to get to sleep. Paul had successfully gotten me out of bed and I wasn't in any mood to start the day off so early. It was only seven in the morning. Who in their right mind decides to call someone at seven? Apparently Paul. I wonder what he was doing up so early. He didn't really strike me as a morning person, even though he seemed pretty happy when he talked to me.

Peaking my head out the door, I noticed dad's was swung wide open. So he wasn't home. I wonder where he went this early. What was it with people waking up so early? Pondering over this question kept me busy while I made my breakfast. My thoughts quickly switched over to Paul and what he wanted with me as I stuffed my mouth full of eggs and bacon.

I'd only known Paul for a few days; I'd only talked to him for about one. But it wasn't like I could forget what I had felt when I grabbed his hand at the dinner party the other. It was like a jolt of electricity rushed through my body bringing everything to life. It had just felt so perfect holding his hand. With Paul, I felt safe, like he would protect me from anything no matter what. And that scared me. I was not the type of girl who fell for every hot guy she came across, but something inside screamed that he wasn't just another hot guy. But how did I know? He was a stranger to me. I didn't know what he was like, I didn't know the type of things he did, and I didn't know him at all. And yet I had that feeling that I knew everything about him. That was impossible, right? Just because it was didn't mean I didn't feel like it was possible.

That night at the party, the girls had come late. We were already eating when there was a knock at the door. I'd volunteered to answer it by reflex and when I stood to do, I could see Paul move to stand up. He would have followed me, too, had my dad not intervened by asking him a question. I met Kim, Jared's girlfriend; Leah, Seth's sister; and Clair. Instantly we began chatting it up and I fell in love with Clair. She was such a precious child and took a liking to me as well, though she did ditch me for Quil.

I wondered why he wanted to follow me, why he was staring for the whole night. I'm not beautiful, but- I'm not going to lie- I _am_ pretty. Or so guys have told me. The possibility that he just wanted to get in my pants did run through my mind more than once, I'll admit. It seemed like the only possible reason I could come up with. After all, a guy like Paul could not fall for a girl like me. It was just impossible.

Setting off to start the unpacking, first in my room, the guys all popped into my mind. The second they all left to get thirds, I realized that they ate a lot. They claimed it was because my spaghetti was so good but I figured that they'd have eaten the same amount had it been only half as good. They were huge after all. I just figured that the appetite came with the size. Emily had explained to me that she was the one who almost always cooked for the lot of them, with the help of Kim. She was pleasantly surprised when she found out I could cook and I was roped into helping her cook whenever she needed help.

Leah was a little rough around the edges and I figured she'd gone through something pretty bad in the past to make her the way she was. I wanted to ask but decided against it. Something told me she wouldn't be too happy with the subject change. The guys were a hoot. They loved to joke around, especially Jake, Embry and Quil. Jared was more reserved and stayed close to Kim the whole night, as did Sam with Emily, though Sam was considerably older than the rest of them. Seth, the youngest there, was the easiest to get along with. He had to be the first person I got used to, followed by Jake, Embry, and Quil. Whenever one of the guys got too close, though, I noticed Paul would glare at them until they backed off. I was a bit peeved by this. I wasn't his property, but he sure was giving the impression that he thought so.

Dad popped his head in around noon, when he returned home. "How ya holding up?"

I smiled. "Good, dad. Just finished with my room. Everything's unpacked. I just have to finish the kitchen and some other loose ends and we'll officially be home."

"Home, huh, Kiddo?" He walked in and draping his arm around my shoulder, pulled me into a one-armed hug.

"Yeah. Home." I beamed. "I think mum would've liked it."

Dad looked at me and – for once – he didn't frown at the mention of mum, and neither did I. Instead, we both broke out in reminiscent smiles. "Yeah," he went on. "I think she would, too."

"Hey, dad? Can you bring that box down into the kitchen so I don't have to make two trips?"

"Sure thing." He stretched out his arms, flexing them a few times, showing off his muscles and causing me to laugh.

"Just be careful. That's glass, muscle man."

"Darn right I'm muscle man," he exclaimed.

I followed him down the stairs, my own box in my hands, laughing at the silly comments he was making. He put the box down and went to shower, after making sure there was nothing he could do to help, to which I told him there wasn't. "You'll just get in my way," I had explained to him.

Five o'clock rolled around before I knew it. I hadn't even realized it, actually. I only knew because dad came into the kitchen to talk to me.

"Almost done?"

"Yep," I smiled. Putting the last pot away, I threw the box to the side. "All done."

"You going to that bonfire tonight?"

I looked at my dad questionably. How did he know there was a bonfire today? "Why," I asked cautiously.

"I'm heading over there and I was wondering if you wanted a ride," he replied, matter-of-factly.

"Oh! Nah, its okay, dad. I'm gonna hop in the shower then go for a run."

Dad raised his eyebrow, something he always did when he was skeptical of my motives. "You're going to shower, run, then shower again?" He made it sound so ridiculous.

"Yes," I declared. "I feel all sticky and there's dust on me. I don't want to feel gross before I run."

"Alright, fine," he gave in. "I'll see you later tonight."

I nodded my head. He left and I jumped in the shower, spending no more than a few minutes there. I threw on a pair of old gray board shorts and a black tank top. Before I left the house, I grabbed the brand new hoodie I'd bought from American Eagle before the move. Quickly, I tossed the pink hoodie over my head and shut the door behind me, making sure to lock it before I set off running. The feeling of the wind against my body and the burn I got from pushing myself that perfect amount was glorious. It'd been too long since I'd gone running. To have this feeling again filled me with an enormous sense of happiness.

I continued running and running, until I found myself near First beach. I stopped when I got close enough to catch my breath, but continued making my way closer. The fire had been lit and soared high into the night sky. The sun had gone done considerably since she left the house and the fire was the primary source of light. Standing near Billy, I could make out my dad. And all the others were there too; Jake, Seth, Embry, Quil, Jared, Sam, Leah, Emily, Kim, and Paul.

Embry turned his head, almost as if he could hear me coming. But that was silly; we were too far apart. "Nikki! You made it!"

At his shouting everyone turned their heads to look in my direction. I was met with smiles and waves, but that did nothing to ease the growing nervousness I felt. Walking closer my gaze drifted to Paul. He was standing next to Jake, smiling at me, overjoyed at the fact that I had come. It took all the strength I had left to not smile and to tear my gaze away from him.

"You came," Kim said happily, pulling me into a friendly hug. I nodded my head, smiling at her. She looked pretty, wearing dark jeans and a lacy tank top. Looking around, I saw that Emily was dressed nice too, even Leah in her pants and T-shirt, and there I was in my running clothes.

A blush crept onto my cheeks just in time for the guys to come closer.

"Why are ya blushing," Jake asked, obviously teasing me by the tone of his voice.

I tried my best to glare at him, ultimately failing. "I'm not even blushing, Jake."

Embry must have caught what Jake was trying to do because he walked over to my other side and draped his arm around my shoulder. "Well, I clearly see some pink in your cheeks."

"Well, you're _clearly_ blind." I pouted. They were ganging up on me!

Seth laughed. "_Come_ _on_," he urged.

"Fine," I sighed. "I'm underdressed."

This must have been a hilarious statement, because it sent the guys – even Paul – into a fit of laughter. I huffed and went over to Kim and Leah.

"Jerks," I mumbled.

"You're perfect."

_Silence_.

Paul was staring at me, a serious look plastered on his face. "You're dressed perfectly."

This time I couldn't fight the smile. "Thanks." His face lit up like a newly decorated Christmas tree.

"Yeah, shrimp, we were just joking," Jared joked from the other side of Kim. My new nickname sent everyone into another fit of laughter.

"Hey!" They ignored me and kept laughing. Even my dad and Billy were laughing. "You know, Jared, I'm taller than Kim so that's like calling her short, too."

Realization struck Kim and she turned to Jared. "You think I'm _short_?" Her voice was soft, almost a whisper, and it sounded as if she were on the verge of tears. _Fake tears_, I thought. But she managed to startle Jared, who began stuttering.

"W-what? N-no, of course not, Kim! You're perfect!" Kim decided that this answer was satisfactory and smiled, showing him that everything was fine.

After the first few jokes – most of which were aimed toward me – the group had split into a few smaller groupings. Leah was near Seth, complaining about something. Sam was near Emily and Jared was by Kim, holding her close. Dad and Billy were talking and laughing, occasionally glancing at whomever they were talking about. I'd caught them glancing at Paul and me once. Jake, Quil, and Embry were goofing around near the fire. And Paul – Paul was walking toward me.

"Hey." His voice was low, and it made me want to latch myself onto him. Of course, I didn't.

"Hi." I didn't turn to look at him, though I was sure he was looking at me. I was afraid that if I did look at him, I wouldn't be able to look away. And that was not what I needed. Definitely not.

"You finished unpacking, huh?"

I nodded my head.

"Did you walk here?" Paul sure was full of questions. Finally looking at him, I saw him staring at me with such intensity that I took a startled step back.

"Um, I ran. I wasn't planning on coming, actually. I just went for a run and… I was here." I laughed. It was so easy to laugh around Paul. No! I couldn't start thinking about these kinds of things. I took a glimpse at the guys around me, hoping they would bail me out of this situation. Luckily, Seth was looking for me.

"Nikki, come here for a sec."

"Sure!" I said, maybe a little too happily. "Gotta go," I told Paul, before trotting over to Seth.

"What's up?" I asked.

Embry, Quil, and Jake came bounding over and I could see Paul slowly walking towards us too. What was this? Gather around me day?

"Have you ever been cliff-diving?"

My gaze fluttered over to the large cliff behind them. "Uh, no."

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

Skeptically, I studied Jake before answering, "Nothing…"

"Great," he shouted. "You're going tomorrow!"

"No!" Paul shouted, before I could. "She's not going cliff-diving, It's too dangerous."

I turned to Paul, staring at him incredulously. "What," I snapped. Okay, I didn't want to go cliff diving because I was scared. But that didn't mean I was going to let Paul tell me what to do. Sure, I agreed with him, but it was the principle behind it.

"You're not going. You could get hurt."

"Qui pensez-vous que vous êtes? Vous n'a pas de droite pour me dire je ne peux pas aller falaise-plonger!" I shouted. I was pissed off. Who did he think he was? "Vous ne me possédez pas!"

"Woah, there, Nikki." Anger clouded my recognition of whoever it was that spoke. I growled at him. Yes, I _growled_.

Collective gasps were heard. What? Was it so surprising that I growled when I was this upset? Hell, I was not someone you can boss around. Paul needed to get that through his head.

"Stop it." The voice was so commanding – so full of authority – that I stopped my growling and took a step away from Paul.

Sam was standing next to me, his hand placed on my shoulder. He looked down at me. His face showed signs of confusion, care, and I could tell he always had that sense of power about him. "Enough, already." Everyone nodded their heads and Sam returned to Emily. From the looks of it he was confirming that everything was okay, because as soon as he spoke, the fear in her eyes faded and she relaxed.

Paul apologized to me and I accepted it, but for the rest of the night whenever he would talk to me I'd answer him quickly and walk away. I was still peeved about the way he was behaving.

I was talking to Kim and Leah when dad walked over and asked to talk to me alone. Following him to the side, I wondered what he wanted to talk about. I mean, he had just seen what had gone down with Paul but he wasn't the type to care about that. I was just about to question him when he spoke.

"You know, Paul likes you."

I glanced up at my dad, not sure what he was getting at. "I like him too, most of the time. I like everyone."

"No, he really likes you. C'est comme il tu aime."

"No, no, no," I stammered. "Impossible."

"You keep thinking that, Kiddo."

"I've only known him for a few days. Besides, he's so… controlling."

"L'amour est compliqué. There are the ups and downs," he whispered. I wanted to stop him, to make some kind of rebuttal to what he'd said, but I just ended up watching as he walked away over to Billy.

What was my father getting at? Didn't he see the way Paul was behaving? He was so controlling, like he owned me, which he didn't. How could that mean he _liked_ me? I pondered over these thoughts as I made my way to the others. Embry soon engulfed me in conversation, forcing me to keep my mind off of Paul. He decided to continue questioning me as he had on the night of the party.

"Can I talk to you?"

I was brought out of my conversation with Embry by a deep voice. Turning, I saw Paul. He was towering over me – as he towered almost everyone who _wasn't_ a part of his groups of friends– looking at me with such a powerful stare that I had to keep myself from shivering. He had that gorgeous russet skin that made me want to reach out and run my hand across his bare chest and – what the hell was I thinking? This is the boy I'd been pissed at the entire night and suddenly I wanted to _touch_ him? What was wrong with me!

"Sure. What do you want?" My voice was even. Ha, take that! He wasn't affecting me.

"Alone?"

"Why? Can't you just tell me what you want to tell me here?" When the Quillette boys had come in the night to eat, they'd taken to asking me every possible question they could think of. Surprisingly, I started being myself around them. It was like I was back to normal. Around these guys I found it easy to just relax and forget my problems.

"_Please_," he pleaded.

I didn't know him well – despite the nagging feeling I got that told me I did – but it seemed like Paul wasn't the type of person to beg. He seemed more of a person who would yell to get what he wanted and if he didn't get it he would get angry. But that was a completely different Paul from what I was seeing.

"Fine," I caved. Smiling victoriously, he wrapped his hand softly around my upper arm and led me over to the beach. It was hard not to smile as I stared out into the waves. It was a beautiful sight. It would have warmed the heart of even the meanest person alive. Since my arrival in La Push this was the first time I'd been to First Beach. And with Paul, a voice inside me added. I sighed. These voices in my head were beginning to get on my nerves with their constant need to contradict what I say.

"What's wrong?" I tore my eyes away from the beach and my attention off of my thoughts. Paul was staring down at me with such a worried expression that it caught me off guard. It was kind of cute (not like I'd say that _aloud_). His forehead crinkled together and his mouth formed a slight pout. I laughed and instantly I noticed his worry fade. See? Wasn't it just a bit _creepy_? I mean, how can me laughing suddenly calm him? And where does he get the right to be worried about _me_?

"So what did you want, Paul?" Crap. I'd made the mistake of calling him by his first name that, mind you, I hadn't done since I met him. A broad smile replaced his pout from before.

Suddenly he got serious. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"What," I gasped, completely shocked. That wasn't what I'd been expecting him to ask me, not that I had anything in mind about what he was going to ask, of course.

"Tonight. You keep avoiding me."

I tried to laugh. I wanted to make this something other than a big deal. "I wasn't avoiding you. I didn't even notice, sorry." I had hoped he wouldn't be offended but – with my stupid luck – he was offended. I took notice that he was starting to shake ever so lightly, like he was cold. I also noticed that – though they tried to look nonchalant – the others were watching us.

"You didn't notice? Every time I say something to you or ask you a question, you answer it as quickly as you can and then move away from me."

"Okay, so maybe I was trying to avoid you." He started to shake just a bit more.

From behind him, Embry and Quil advanced forward a little. They looked anxious. Stealing a glance at the other boys I noticed they wore the same looks. Kim and Emily where ushered into the house by Leah and Seth brought Billy and dad into the house. I wondered why they were so worried. It's not like Paul would hurt me… right? I mean, sure, he probably gets a little over the top, what with his short temper but he wouldn't hurt me.

He didn't say anything for a while. He just stared at me. I found this all too unnerving for me and spoke my mind. "Stop staring at me! This is why I'm avoiding you. It's creepy. You just stare at me and hardly say _anything_. Am I abnormal looking or something? Is there something on my face?! And you act like you own me. You think you can tell me what I can and can't do!"

Paul started shaking more, his body erupting in small trembles. "You don't get it!"

"Well how am I supposed to get it? I'm not a mind reader!"

Before I could even react, Embry had flown himself at me, knocking me down onto the sand. I don't even know how he got to me so fast. The last time I'd checked he was over by Quil and that was pretty far from Paul and me. I tried to get up but with a very heavy Embry over me, it was impossible. "Embry!" He didn't respond. In fact, he wasn't even paying attention to me. His head was turned watching something that was just out of my sight. I craned my neck around his arm to see what he was staring at. Quil and Jake where pushing a trembling Paul toward the forest. Jared was near Kim, watching and ready to help if necessary. Seth was still in the house probably making sure my dad didn't come out.

Sam walked over and commanded Paul to go in the forest. Reluctantly he allowed himself to be pushed into the forest, with one last look in my direction, which sent him into a state of fiercer trembling. I was still watching; my eyes were glued to Paul's back as he went into the forest and – oh my God! Was I delusional? I swear I saw a huge shape, right where Paul had been a moment earlier.

"What the hell was that?" I didn't realize I was screaming at the top of my lungs.

Embry jumped away from me gripping his ears. "What, Nikki?"

"He – I saw – Paul – forest and – " I was stuttering, only bits and pieces of the sentences I wanted to form coming out. By now I was standing and walking to the forest where Paul had once been. Or maybe he wasn't there; maybe that wasn't even Paul. Had I imagined the whole scene? It was physically impossible for a human to _change_ into something else.

Embry stood up and came to my side, resting his hand on my shoulder to calm me. Quil rushed over and Leah soon joined the little group that was forming around me; even Jared left Kim's side to come. Jake and Sam had rushed into the woods quickly after Paul disappeared.

"What's wrong?" Quil asked the question that every one was probably thinking.

"Paul – he – I saw it – he was there – then he changed!" I was completely shocked.

"Full sentences, shrimp."

I managed to glare at Jared, although not very threateningly, because he chuckled along with the others.

"Paul! I swear I saw him turn into a wolf!"

* * *

Oh! Another chapter posted for The Road is a Minefield! Yes, I feel accomplished. Well, first off, thank you to my AMAZINGLY-WONDERFUL beta **Spinkle22**. Without my dear beta, I believe this chapter would not be quite so pleasing! :) And thank you to all the wonderful people who are reviewing! I'm _super_ glad this story is being received well!

So! New things in Nikki's life. She saw Paul change?! And she's a little freaked out by him. Hey, I would be too. And everyone's warming up to her, isn't that just dandy?

**French:** _C'est comme il tu aime_: It's almost like he loves you._  
l'amour est compliqué_: love is complicated_  
Qui pensez-vous que vous êtes ? Vous n'a pas de droite pour me dire je ne peux pas aller falaise-plonger ! Vous ne me possédez pas !_ Who do you think you are? You can't tell me I can't go cliff-diving! You don't own me!

P.S. I had to resubmit this chapter because I found a MAJOR mistake on my part; I _accidentally _put a paragraph twice! I was re-reading it and I had to go back and make sure I wasn't imagining it, and turns out I wasn't. So! Sorry 'bout that!

_Anyway_, leave me your glorious reviews and tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

The Road is a Minefield**  
Chapter 3**_  
_Fairy Tales are Make Believe

Paul didn't come back right away like a part of me expected him to. I was a little disappointed and a little relieved at the same time. He wouldn't be there to watch me freak out, like I was sure I was about to do. But it felt weird to be away from him now. So when Embry ushered everyone into his house I couldn't help but look behind me to see if he was there. Of course, he wasn't. Not like I _cared_.

Because I _didn't_ care.

Leah and Seth took seats on the couch, my dad squeezing in next to Seth. Quil and Embry occupied the other couch. Billy rolled himself near my dad and Jared plopped himself on the floor. Emily and Kim stayed standing.

Everyone stared up at me expectantly. _What am I supposed to do?_ Suddenly my thoughts seemed silly. I had to sit. That's what I had to do. I sat down on the floor, right where I was standing. It felt like I was in the center of the room and that everybody was surrounding me; but it wasn't like that; it was far from that. It just _felt_ like that because all their eyes were glued to me. My gaze was glued to the floor as if the patterns on Billy's carpet were really interesting.

"Nice carpet, Billy, really, uh, pretty?"

"What was that, dear?"

This was what I despised about situations like this. I always got nervous and rattled the first thing that popped into my head, which wasn't the brightest of ideas at times.

"Uh, nothing."

_Great, first I say I saw Paul change into a wolf, now I'm telling Billy his carpet is nice! Way to make them think I'm mental._

"So," Dad started.

My eyes were on the carpet again. "Soooo."

"Well..."

"Well."

"Hmmm."

"Hmmm..."

"Stop it, you two!" Billy sighed, mumbling something about my father and me behaving like children. I giggled. Dad was probably pouting with his head hung low.

"Nikki, what you saw outside – "

"About that, guys. I think I must've been delusional or something, I mean Embry knocked me down pretty hard. It was probably my imagination, or something."

"What you saw was real," Seth continued, but the relevance slipped my mind.

"I mean, Embry's pretty tough. It felt like I ran into a wall or – what?" I stopped blabbering when I finally registered what Seth had just said. "Are you serious?"

"One hundred percent."

"That's impossible, Seth. That's like saying _vampires_ are real."

Everyone fell silent and shared looks, even my dad. "Oh, come on! You can't tell me you believe _vampires_ and _werewolves_ are real!"

_Silence_.

"You've got to be kidding me."

They shook their heads.

_What is this? Are they trying to make fun of me? Is dad in on it too? Is this like some strange initiation or something?_

"Are you trying to embarrass me?" My voice was soft, squeaking at the end. I hadn't intended on my voice failing me and showing how hurt I was, but things didn't seem like they were going my way anyhow.

"What? No!" Embry was the first to object.

"We'd never do that!"

"We're telling you the truth, Shrimp!"

"Bien-aimé, they're telling the truth."

Incredulously, I turned to gawk at my dad. "You believe them?"

"Of course!"

"Y-you..." I struggled to find the words. _How can I express how...how hurt I feel? _"How can you believe them?"

"Bien-aimé... I trust Billy and the kids."

"Ne pas m'appeler le bien-aimé," by this time, I was shouting.

The guys had all stopped talking. None of them were aware of what I had said to my dad, but they all knew – by the tone of my voice – that it hadn't been pleasant.

"Penser rationnellement, le chéri."

"Penser rationnellement? _Penser rationnellement?"_ The anger and embarrassment surged through me, rushing through my veins. I stood up, on the verge of screaming at the top of my lungs. "How can I think rationally, when _you're_ not?"

My dad didn't say a word; he just stared at me with those big, sad eyes, disapproval evident in his gaze.

"Ne pas me regarder comme ça, papa. You know I'm right!"

Storming out of the house, I slammed the door behind me as loudly as I could. Had I been strong enough, the house would have trembled. I couldn't believe how the night had turned out. I'd actually gone, even though I'd planned on running, then taking a nice shower and hitting the sack. But instead, I went to the bonfire, just like Paul had asked.

_Paul_...

I couldn't even think about him. I forced myself to think about something else. If I grazed the subject of Paul, I'd drive myself insane just thinking about what he wanted with me. Instead, I focused on the nature and the sounds around me. Anything to calm me down.

Dad had the only car we owned and I didn't plan on walking back and asking him for a ride. So there I was, walking along the forest, headed home. It was already dark and there weren't any cars on the road; it was just me and the quietness of the night. The night breeze was louder than it usually was to me. The moon was brighter too, as I looked up at it.

_Ha, it's a full moon._

"How ironic." Sarcasm laced my words. What were the chances that I had thought I'd seen Paul change- along with the guys telling trying to tell me werewolves were real- _and_ it was a full moon? Talk about horror movie cliché.

Something in the woods rustled behind me. I turned my head, but nothing was there. I sped up my pace. Nothing too bad to worry about, right? It was probably it was just a little animal or something. Still, I walked faster than I normally would have.

The woods were quiet after that, for a while.

A few minutes later, it happened again and just like the first time, when I turned around no one was there. Needless to say, I freaked out. I was getting the horror movie feeling. You know, the one where you're watching a scene and you see the stupid girl turn around but nothings there and she just keeps _walking_ and you scream for her to put her ass in gear and run? Yeah, that one.

I was running down the street toward my house as fast as my legs could take me. My breath was coming out short and labored because of my running so it didn't help when I started to panic – after hearing _more_ rustling – thinking that something was following me. My house – _oh the glorious sight _– came into view quickly. I pushed myself harder; willed my legs to run faster. It was just a short distance and I'd be home free.

_Agh! If it wasn't for Paul I'd be home safe, instead of running for my life!_

"Stupid Paul," I huffed as I climbed the stairs up to my porch.

From behind me, in the forest, I heard what I thought was the sound of wolf whimpering. For a second, it sounded a lot like Paul.

_That's stupid._

I grabbed the door to open it. "No." _It was locked._ And I didn't have my keys.

"Spare key, spare key, spare key..."

_Where did we hide the key!? I'm going to die. I'm going to die!_

Finally I found the key. It was hiding in under the ugly flower pot my dad bought thinking it would "brighten" the place up. Obviously he was wrong, as it now was a symbol of death to me. I fumbled with the key, trying to open the door. When the key slid in and it was open, I pushed the door fiercely, slamming it shut and locking it behind me.

At that moment – after that door slammed – it was like my world crashed down on me. Everything that happened, every emotion I'd felt, came rushing back to me, like it was slamming against me. My legs could no longer support me and I fell to the floor, crying.

_Why was this happening? La Push was supposed to be a normal place. This new home was supposed to make me forget my sadness, not create a whole new one!_

Out of anger I balled my fists and slammed them against the floor, pounding until my hands throbbed.

"I'm supposed to be _happy_ here!"

I heard it again, another howl, this time farther off. It was back in the direction of First Beach. Maybe it was Paul? Maybe it was _him_ I'd heard in the forest, following me and protecting me, making those rustling noises. The guys, maybe they were telling me the truth. Maybe these vampires and werewolves existed and they _weren't_ trying to embarrass me.

_No, that's ridiculous._

That would mean that all those fairy tales weren't just make believe.

That would mean that out there, in those woods, there were things far more dangerous than wild animals.

No. That idea was completely and utterly _ridiculous_.

* * *

Hey there!

I got another chapter out, WOO-HOO! Mucho thanks to **Spinkle22** my _amazing_ and _wonderful_ beta, wihthout whom, this story would probably be less enjoyable. Yay for Spinky!  
And thank you also to those of you who have been reviewing! I didn't expect that many reviews!! :O I got _11_ reviews for the last chapter! How fantastic is that? You guys are AWESOME and I appreciate you guys so much. :)

So keep up the reviews, 10+ and I'll bake everyone some brownies... _You'll have to figure out how to get it through the computer, though._ :D

RECAP ( because I can): So the guys tried to tell her, but she doesn't believe them, she thinks they're making fun of her. But her question is, why does her father believe them? _Why isn't he freaked out about they're behavior?_ And as if that wasn't bad enough, she was followed by _something_. She even has a tiny breakdown.

**French: **_Bien-aimé:_ Sweetheart  
_Ne pas m'appeler le bien-aimé:_ Don't call me sweetheart  
_Penser rationnellement, le chéri:_ Think rationally, darling.  
_Ne pas me regarder comme ça, papa:_ Don't look at me that way, papa.

Leave me reviews- remember 10+ !! - and tell me you're answer to this question: _Why isn't her father freaked out about eveyrthing and why does he believe them?!_


	4. Chapter 4

The Road is a Minefield**  
Chapter 4**_  
Making Promises_

Dad wasn't home when I woke up in the morning around eight. In fact, I don't think he came home last night. I'd fallen asleep right by the door and if it cracked open even the slightest, it would have hit me and woken me up.

I laid there by the door, fully aware of what had happened but resistant to the idea of confronting them. What would be the point? They would probably stick to what they'd said, and besides, I didn't think I could take the fact that my dad was siding with them. He was the only person I had left in my family. I couldn't stand to witness as he drifted away, like I felt he was. I was losing my dad to a bunch of guys.

I would have continued to lie there and sulk over my sudden realization if the doorbell hadn't rung bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Who is it," I asked and cringed when I heard how horrible I sounded. My voice was its usual morning tone – rough and agitated – but even I could hear how upset I sounded. It was as if I'd just come from screaming my head off in a fight.

"It's Emily, Kim, and Leah."

Words couldn't express – no; they couldn't come close – how shocked I felt at that moment. I hadn't expected any of them to come and visit me. Heck, I didn't even expect my dad to come and talk to me any time soon. Can you imagine the shock?

"Oh."

"Can we come in?"

We were still talking through the door. I wanted to be happy and invite them in with a smile, but a part of me was afraid that they were just prolonging the joke.

Slowly I opened the door to see the three of them standing there, with what looked like groceries.

"Come in." My voice steadied itself out, but still held that cautiousness to it.

"Did we wake you up?" Emily asked.

"Uh, no. I've been up for a little while."

"We brought stuff over; we're going to bake cookies," Leah announced. I guessed it was her way of asking permission to stay.

I smiled – not completely genuinely – and nodded my head. "Sure. I'm just going to change. I'll be right back."

Leaving them to their own devices, I headed up the stairs and changed into clean clothes. The shock I had felt still hadn't worn off, and I didn't think it would any time soon. What was going on? Was this all part of some weird plan to make me look stupid? Surely, Emily and Kim didn't seem like the type of people to do that. I have to admit; I don't think that Leah would do something like that either.

I left the comfort of my room and headed to the kitchen, where I guessed they'd wondered off to; I was right.

Emily had set up all the groceries they had brought over – everything from flour to chocolate chips – on the marble countertop. Leah and Kim were searching through the cabinets for whatever utensils it was that they needed.

I smiled – genuinely, this time – at the scene before me; maybe this was their idea of making up for what had happened. Whatever the reason was, I suddenly didn't care anymore. This was going to take my mind of off things and I welcomed it.

"Are you looking for something?"

I couldn't help but laugh as they all jumped. They had been so concentrated on what they were doing; they were unaware of my presence.

"Nikki! You scared us!"

"Sorry 'bout that, Kim." Another laugh escaped my lips. It eased my worries and made me happy, for the time being.

"All you have to do is sit back," Leah started, motioning to the only stool. "We'll do all the work."

I nodded my head. "You guys sure?"

"Yup!" Kim sure did have a hyper side to her.

The three girls set to work almost immediately after commanding me to sit in the stool and stay still. I watched as Kim stumbled about, trying to find the bowls and spoons; having refused any help from me, she took longer than necessary. Emily embarked on her task of mixing ingredients to make the batter; which she made look like she could do it with her eyes closed. Leah did whatever Emily told her to do; as did Kim once she'd found all the stuff.

"So where are you from, Nikki? You've never really told us."

Pondering over Emily's question, I traced the patterns in the marble countertop. "I moved around a bit. I've lived most of my life in France. I moved to California for a while before going to Colorado."

"Wow," Kim murmured, surprised.

"How long did you live at each place? That's quite a few places to live when you're so young."

"D – " I stopped; I couldn't bring myself to talk about my dad. "I never really lived too long at each place, besides France. I lived in France for twelve years; California for about four years; and Colorado for two years before I arrived in La Push."

"Where'd you like it best?" Leah asked. For a second, I wondered if that included La Push and – even if it did – if I would have chosen it.

"I loved France the most. It was so beautiful. I guess I only really like it 'cause I grew up there. I liked Colorado for a while too."

"What about California?"

"It was too, I dunno, _city_ for me."

They laughed.

"What do you mean, too _city_?"

"In France and in Colorado, I lived in… I guess you'd call it the countryside. I got used to it. It was always so peaceful and open. There wasn't that rushing around to get things turned in on time and that need to be the top of the company. California was so big and busy."

"So you prefer the countryside?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Anywhere that's got a lot of forests, beaches, and that nature aspect is perfect for me." Before they could spout out another question, I threw one out, "Where'd you guys learn to cook so good?"

Emily smiled sweetly as she poured the now finished batter into a pan. "Years of practice and hungry boys."

We all laughed, because we all knew how much those _boys_ could eat.

"We're not as good as Emily," Kim piped in about herself and Leah. "But we help out whenever we can."

"They'll work her to death, just by asking for food."

Kim laughed and nudged Leah, "You eat a lot too."

"Hey! At least I help to cook it!"

I was surprised to see this other side of Leah. My first impression of her had been that she was mean and unnecessarily rude, but this wasn't what I was seeing. Maybe _this_ was what she was really like underneath everything.

"Leah?" I grabbed her attention and she stopped talking to Kim, to turn her attention to me. "Why do you always seem mad?"

With that one question, the air in the room changed. Suddenly, everyone tensed, like I had asked a question that everyone – but me – knew not to ask. I glanced at Kim and Emily. Kim stood awkwardly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other; Emily's face looked pained, as if the question brought back a painful memory.

Instead of blowing up, like I now expected her to do, Leah answered the question calmly. "Something happened to me a long time ago, I lost someone I loved, but I made someone else happy. I'll tell you more about it later."

I didn't want to ask when later was; I was too afraid.

"Anyway," Emily changed the subject; she no longer wore that pained look. "Why'd you and you're dad move here?"

"Dad used to live here," I started, not sure how good I'd feel telling her the rest. "I guess that's how he knows Billy. But we lived in Colorado for two years and we went on our annual camping trip, to celebrate my mom's birthday. She loved to go camping. The morning after we went camping, she disappeared. Dad found her; she'd been mauled by an animal, they said it was a bear. But I know it wasn't a bear. The night before I could hear a wolf howling and I could hear it that morning too. After her death, we came down here. We couldn't handle it too well and I think dad figured we'd manage better here."

"Nikki, I'm – "

"Don't say it," I interrupted Emily, before she could finish talking. Instantly I felt guilty for cutting her off and explained, "Don't say you're sorry, you had nothing to do with it."

Kim walked over to me and – to my surprise – pulled me into a tight hug.

"Thanks." I accepted her hug. Soon after she released me, I realized they really weren't here to embarrass me. I could trust them.

"Oh! You have to promise not to tell the guys you told us first."

I stared at Kim quizzically. "Why can't I tell the guys?"

"'Cause," Leah said, matter-of-factly, "If they know, Paul will find out. And if he finds out, all hell will break loose."

With an exaggerated _humph_ I nodded my head. "Fine, I won't tell them." I left out the fact that I didn't plan on _seeing_ any of the guys soon. Seeing the guys meant seeing Paul. That wasn't really something I was looking forward to.

"You should really talk to Paul. He's worried about you, but he won't say why."

"Emily, he has no right to be worried about me so much."

The frankness caught them off guard.

"_Nikki_," Leah dragged out, bringing my attention to her. "Trust me, his worry is genuine."

My mouth formed a little 'o'. How did Leah know that was one of the things I'd been thinking of?

"How did you – " I was interrupted by the phone ringing. I didn't move to answer it; I pretended not to even hear it.

"You should get that, Nikki. It could be important."

I shrugged. "It's probably not."

"It _could_ be."

Obviously, she wanted me to answer the phone. I suspected that she knew who it was, but I figured she probably just didn't want me to miss an important call. "Fine." Jumping off my stool, I walked over to the phone – which inconveniently had those stupid chords attached – and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hi… Nikki? Is Emily there?"

"Oh, hey Sam! Yeah, she's right here."

"_Come on, Sam. Give me the phone!" _That was Paul's voice! He was trying to talk to me. I felt like throwing the phone down and locking myself in the room at the simple thought of speaking to him.

"Paul," Sam commanded and – I'm not sure – it sounded like he _growled_ a little too. "Can I talk to Emily?"

It took a few seconds before I realized he was talking to me. "Oh, sure thing. Hold on. Here you go Emily, it's Sam."

Emily took the phone. "Sam? What? Oh… I don't know about that. Okay, I'll ask." She held the phone from her ear and covered the mouthpiece with her hand. "Nikki, do you want to come to dinner? The guys want to see you." By guys, she meant Paul.

Vigorously, I shook my head no; I felt like my head was going to fall off. "Next time!"

Emily took on that motherly look and nodded her head in understanding. "Okay. Sam, honey? She said next time. Oh, hello. I don't think that's going to work. She'll say no…" She sighed and turned hear head in my direction. "Paul wants to talk to you, sweety. He's on the phone right now."

My eyes widened and once again I found myself shaking my head vigorously. "No!"

"She said no, Paul. I know you heard her."

The voice on the other end – Paul – boomed and I could just make out what sounded like, _"But I need to hear her."_

* * *

Firstly, thanks to my awesome beta **_Spinkle22_ **for doing another great job. Kudos to you!  
Secondly, everybody gets my virtual brownies! I actually have real brownies here, but I don't think I could shove them through the computer... _Anyway,_ thank you so much for all the reviews! I got 11!! :) It made me super happy.  
And thirdly, I loved reading what you thought about her dad not being freaked out. The truth will come out eventually... not too soon though. I'm trying not to rush things with this story. (I tend to do that a lot)

No French this time! Why? Because, silly, she didn't have any interaction with her dad. And she wasn't mad through the entire thing. I know, shocker!

Hmm. The question for this review: _What do you think Nikki should do? Should she forget everything that happened and try to be friends with Paul? Or should she just ignore Paul all together? _Give me some ideas, I love to read them!


	5. Chapter 5

The Road is a Minefield**  
Chapter 5**_  
Gravity_

I opened my eyes, stretching across the couch, where I'd taken to sleeping since dad stopped coming home. He was the only reason I'd sleep in my room every night; usually too tired to walk to my room, I used to sleep on the floor when he wasn't home, back in Colorado. Dad was a stickler for doing things the right way.

_Dad_.

It'd been three days since I saw him. I knew he was probably staying at Billy's house to give me "space", as he often liked to do, but I couldn't help but feel worried… and a little lonely. It was unusual for me to be left alone for so long. Of course, Emily, Kim, and Leah came frequently – sometimes together, sometimes alone – but it seemed different to me. I'd gotten to trust them and I enjoyed spending my time with them; but time spent with them was just not the same as time spent with my dad.

My eyes drifted to the phone, but I shook my head. I _wanted_ to call Billy's to see if dad was there, but I wouldn't call. It'd be just my luck – and it's _always_ just my luck – that Paul would be the one to answer the phone. Something in me told me that they were all hanging around there and maybe, just in the slightest, they were _all_ hoping I'd call.

Instead of lounging around the house like I'd done for the past few days, I dragged myself off the couch and flicked the radio on. Gravity by Sara Bareilles came on and I smiled, singing along to one of my favorite songs.

"Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity…" I had to laugh; I sounded a little short of horrible. Singing – _well_ – was not my thing. "Here I am and I stand soooo tall, just the way I'm supposed to beeee. But you're on to meeee and all over meeee."

Laughing and dancing around the room I was so entranced, I closed my eyes. And, because I'm me, I managed to trip over the edge of couch, landing on the floor in a crumpled pile. It's not like I was a clumsy person or anything, I just had that _luck_ where – usually – anything that could go wrong, did go wrong. I groaned; maybe dancing with my eyes closed wasn't the greatest thing to do in the world. When I managed to untangle myself and stand up – luckily, nothing was broken – I shut the music off. Now that there was nothing to do, I once again found my attention drifting toward the phone.

Sighing, I caved. I picked up the phone and dialed Billy's number, waiting in panic as the ringing started.

"Hello?"

My voice caught in my throat. That was _Paul_; he'd actually been the one to answer the phone, just like I'd been afraid of.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

I didn't – couldn't – answer him.

"Hello," he asked again; the frustration in his voice thicker than before. "Fine I'm hanging u – "

"Hello?" I asked at the very last moment, just keeping him from hanging up.

Astonished, he asked, "Nikki?"

"Um, yeah. It's me, Paul." I could picture him smiling as he held the phone and I smiled too, until I realized I was and forced myself to stop.

I was scared; I knew that I was afraid of Paul after what I'd seen and what the guys had told me. Besides, even though I didn't necessarily believe them, how could I _not_ be afraid when he changed into _something_? And this was the guy who wouldn't stop looking at me and the guy who had the power to make me feel completely happy with just a few words. It was unhealthy for anyone person to have such a strong effect on me.

"What's the matter?"

"Oh, uh, I was just wondering if my dad's been staying there for the past few days?"

"Yeah," Paul sighed, like he was expecting me to have asked him something entirely different. "He's been crashing here."

"Is he there now?"

"Hold on."

I nodded my head, even though he couldn't see me, and waited as he asked Jacob – I think – if my dad was there. Everything sounded muffled, so I suspected he had his hand over the phone.

"_Who's on the phone?"_

I almost jumped when I grasped the voice; it was just Jake, but I had been so focused on hearing what Paul would say that I didn't realize I _could_ hear.

"_It's Nikki."_ I could hear the happiness in his voice.

"_Really? Give me the phone."_

"_No man, I'm talking to her!"_

I giggled. Despite not wanting to talk to Paul, it was amusing to listen as he and Jake argued.

"_Come on, man. I want to talk to her too, we all do."_

A chorus of 'yeah' followed his statement, and I could just picture the annoyance on Paul's face as everyone tried to get him to give up the phone.

"_She just wants to know if her dad's here or not," _he snapped. I felt a little sorry for him. It sounded like he wished I wanted to talk to _him_.

"_Oh,"_ Embry grumbled. _"He's not here; went fishing with Billy."_

"Hey? You still there?"

Paul's voice dragged me out of my trance. I straightened up; I hadn't realized I was getting closer and closer to the phone, like it would bring me closer to Billy's house where they were.

"Still here."

"Your dad's fishing with Billy."

"Oh," I said, numbly. "Okay. Thanks, Paul. Bye."

I hung up the phone on Paul, probably leaving him disappointed and upset. Having confirmed where my dad was, I was bored out of my mind. There was nothing to do in my house that I hadn't done in the past few days alone. I'd cleaned the house. I rearranged my room. There was nothing left but silence.

Defeated, I left the house and headed to Billy's house on foot; dad had decided that he didn't need to drop the car off for me, or anything. Why was I going to the one place where I was sure the person I didn't want to see would be? I didn't really know the answer myself, but I did know that I had nothing else to do. And besides, chances are that Leah's with the guys, if not along with Emily and Kim.

I'd gotten closer to the three girls – whom I still gave credit for putting up with all the guys – and I honestly felt like I could call them my best friends.

Billy's house came around in no time, but not before I managed to creep myself out a few times as I walked near the forest. There was nothing actually there; I imagined it in my head and drove myself crazy. Needless to say, when I saw Billy's house, a sense of relief rushed over me. But no later did I realize it would be extremely awkward walking into the house. The last time I'd seen them, I'd stormed out of the house accusing them of wanting to make a fool out of me. And here I was, about to waltz in on them, uninvited.

I ignored myself and walked up to the front door, pushing it open after a seconds pause. Every head turned to face me but I only noticed one: Paul, the only person in the room – heck, maybe even the world – to have so much power over me.

They each stared at me in shock; no one expected me to come over anytime soon.

"Nikki?"

I turned my gaze to Leah, smiling largely. "Hey Leah! Hey guys," I said, turning my attention to the rest of the guys.

They each said hello, but Seth was the first to officially break away and talk to me. "Glad to see you came back," he smiled, slinging his arm around my shoulder. "We still need to go cliff-diving!"

I laughed – while silently hoping Paul wouldn't object again and cause a scene – and nudged him in the ribs. "Yeah, yeah, now get off. You're hot."

Seth smiled smugly, "I know I'm hot, Nikki. You don't have to point out the obvious." This jokester side of Seth amused me.

"You keep _thinking_ that," Quil piped in. Everyone laughed at Seth's reaction.

"I'm hotter than you, and you know it, Quil."

"Where're Emily and Kim?" I asked, interrupting the talking before Paul could get the chance to talk to me.

"Kitchen," Jake said.

"Okay, I'll head in there."

"Wait for me," Leah shouted, looking eager to get away from the guys. "I'll come with you."

Leah caught up with me quickly and laced her arm with mine, as Kim, myself, and Leah had taken to doing. "So," she said. "Finally decided to come and eat something other than ice cream?"

Laughing I replied, "Hey! Ice cream is what gave me this figure!" With my free hand, I motioned to my body.

Leah eyed me suspiciously.

"Okay, okay, so running helps a little too," I admitted.

She laughed, triumphantly. "Thought so."

We disappeared into the kitchen, probably leaving a group of very confused and shocked boys in the living room.

"Nikki! What brings you here?" Emily asked as we came into her view. She was tossing the last minutes ingredients into a large pot, boiling on the stove. A sweet and tangy aroma spread through the air and, when it reached my nose, my mouth watered.

"Mmm, I could smell your food."

Emily laughed. "You're welcome for dinner _any_ time," she stressed.

Kim came over to my other side and leaned against the counter near me. "So why'd you really come? You seemed really… intent on _not_ coming here last time we talked."

I shrugged my shoulders, trying to seem nonchalant. "I was sick of it."

"Sick of what?" Leah asked.

"You know," I sighed. "Sick of being in that house for so long and…"

"And?" Emily asked, now interested in our conversation.

"Sick of being _afraid_ to leave; I guess, tired of being afraid of Paul." My words came out soft, almost whispered.

"You're afraid of me?"

I didn't want to, but I found myself turning to face Paul as he stood in the doorway, looking at me. A frown was set on his lips and I'd have given anything to see him smile.

"_Sometimes_," I admitted.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I _do not_ - sadly - own the song Gravity, which is by Sara Bareilles. Go listen to it, if you don't know it. It's a great song.

Now, on to my notes! I want to say thank you so much to Spinkle22, my beta-reader, for doing another great job!  
And I want to say thank you to whoever it was that suggested this story to be in a community. I LOVE YOU! No, really, I do. That was sweet of you and I'm glad you think my story is good.  
And also, thank you to _all_ of you who reviewed! I got 18 reviews for the last chapter!! I saw that and my face went :O, I was so shocked! That's way more than I expected.

_You lovely readers are wonderfully surprising. _

So, this chapter... Nikki went to Billy's and saw Paul. Now Paul's heartbroken that she's afraid of him. Hm... the question is: _How are the two of them going to handle it; by screaming and fighting or by talking?_

Tell me what you think and leave me those glorious reviews that just make my day. :)


	6. Chapter 6

The Road is a Minefield**  
Chapter 6**_  
Battlefield_

_Sometimes_.

I must have said that in my head about thirty times before either of us blinked. I wish I hadn't said it; I wish I'd lied. Anything would have been better if I didn't have to look at Paul and know that _I_ was the one who made him _that_ sad.

Paul didn't move once the words slipped from my mouth. His eyes were glued to mine and were filled with a set of constantly changing emotions; sadness, anger, confusion, and once they reached confusion the cycle started up again. And he wasn't shaking like the first time I'd made him angry – so angry that he _changed_ – no, this was worse; he was frozen, almost like he was dead. His arms were limp at his side and his shoulders sagged forward as if asking what he had done to deserve this.

But neither of us dared to move.

I don't know about him, but I knew I was too afraid to make any movements. The slightest move or the simplest word could have set him off, I believed, and I didn't want that. What did I want? Did I want to talk to him calmly? That would never happen with Paul, his anger proved to be too much for him to really control. I wasn't sure that controlling my anger was something _I_ could do, either. And even if we both stayed calm, what would we _say_? Were there any possible words for me to explain to Paul what I felt; how afraid I was of him, how much I _wanted_ him, and how hard it was for me to deny that want? Surely, if I tried to say that, he'd start yelling and I'd yell back and nothing would get settled. Everything would be out in the open; a wound that would break and reopen every time we saw each other. It wasn't like there was a way of avoiding Paul, not in a small place like La Push, and definitely not when his circle of friends were mine too.

In that eternity of silence with Paul's eyes on mine, every thought that revolved around him came rushing back to me at an alarming rate. So many different views and so many emotions all at once; when I first met Paul it was amazing, like nothing else had mattered to me, then I got scared – afraid of what he _really_ wanted – and tried to avoid him. But that night at the bonfire, he was so easy to talk to and to laugh with; I _liked_ being with him, until he got overprotective and then he… changed, into what everyone believes is a werewolf; then things went back to me ignoring him.

I wanted to reach out and hug him and tell him I was sorry for being so stupid and acting the way I did; that I wanted to be friends.

But I was still afraid of Paul – the very Paul I wanted to embrace – so I didn't.

"Okay you two, why don't you go outside so you can talk?" Emily ushered me forward – toward Paul – with a sweet smile on her face.

I jumped back, waving my hands in protest, "No!"

Pain crossed Paul's eyes, like my words had stabbed him in the heart.

"You guys need to talk," Kim told me, adding an unspoken _now_ with the look in her eyes.

I shook my head. Yeah, I wanted to talk to him because I knew nothing would happen if we didn't, but I was horrified of being alone with him. What if what happened at the bonfire happened again and Embry wasn't there to protect me? The guys all said he was a _werewolf_ which meant he could hurt me, where they really willing to leave me alone with him? I know I said I didn't believe them, but the _idea_ was in my head and it frightened me.

"Paul, why don't you wait outside? I'm just going to talk to Nikki for a minute, okay?" Emily smiled at him and he left after one last look in my direction.

Emily, Kim, Leah and I were the only ones in the kitchen now; Paul was in the living room talking in hushed tones with the guys.

"You have to stay _calm_." I could hear Jake talking as he led Paul outside when he got in my line of vision. "We'll be there if anything goes down so don't – " I blocked Jake's voice out of my head, but it was too late, I'd missed what Emily and the girls were saying.

"Sorry, what?" I asked, confused.

Leah sighed and rested her hand on my shoulder. "She _said_, try to stay level headed. Paul's got a temper and you do too; nothing's going to work out if you two are screaming your heads off at each other."

I _humphed_ loudly – the only reason my temper was so bad around Paul was because of his temper.

"Nikki," I turned to look at Emily, "You've got to remember, Paul's got feelings."

I was shocked. "I-I know."

Her bright smile faltered a bit. "Oh, I didn't mean that you didn't know that, dear! I was just saying that he _likes_ you and you have to take that into account that it's the reason why he's acting the way he is."

I didn't say anything; I just nodded my head. I was too caught up preparing for the roller coaster ride I was about to jump on so to speak.

"Just be honest with him." Kim put in.

"And don't yell, whatever you do," Leah added.

I nodded my head one last time before they ushered me to the front door, where Jake was waiting. He pushed the door open and walked me to where Paul was, on the side of the house; out of everyone's view. Before we hit the corner of his house, he pulled me into a hug.

"Just be you," he whispered. "That's who Paul loves."

Jake pulled away and smiled at me. He waited for me to turn around before he left me alone to deal with Paul and the words he had said. _That's who Paul loves?_ He _really_ chose the wrong time to tell me something like that. The short distance – and I mean really short – that I had to walk to get to where Paul was, seemed much longer than it was. In that short time I wondered what I would say to him and who would speak first. When I finally stood in front of him, it seemed like he'd been wondering the same things.

Paul tore his gaze from the ground and looked at me and I shifted mine to the floor. Neither or us moved or spoke; we were too lost in our own world thinking of the right thing to say, to say anything.

_I'm sorry I'm afraid of you?_

_I didn't mean for you to hear that?_

_Why don't we just forget everything that happened?_

Everything I thought of to ask came off as rude and stupid to me. How would I bring myself to say any of those things to Paul?

"Paul, I…"

I lifted my gaze from the ground. Paul was staring at me hopefully. I knew that the words I spoke next would have a great effect on him. But I couldn't bring myself to speak; his eyes silenced me.

"I – "

"I'm sorry!"

If they could have, my eyes would have fallen out of my head. Paul had apologized to me, something I hadn't expected him to do. But I wondered if he knew what it was he was sorry for.

He stepped closer to me, but stopped when I took a frightened step back.

"…What are you sorry for?"

My question caught him off guard. Paul studied me in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"You said you're sorry, I want to know _what_ you're sorry for."

Maybe I was coming off as a bitch, but I was afraid – of what? – that he was lying to me; maybe he was just saying he was sorry but he didn't mean it. I wasn't going to take that chance. I needed to know that he was truly apologizing to me.

"I…" He regarded me with confusion once more. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

I waited to hear more but nothing else came out. After a long pause, I found myself getting angry. That was all he had to say to me, he was sorry for _scaring_ me? Did he know _why_ he scared me or how freaked out I was about everything that started happening once I arrived in La Push and met him?

"You're sorry for _scaring_ me?"

"What else do you want me to say?" Now his voice was rising; Paul was getting angry.

"I don't _want_ you to say what you think _I_ want to hear."

"Well what do you want?"

"I want to know if you understand _why_ I was afraid of you."

"Of course I don't," he yelled, and I was sure that everyone had heard him. "If I did, we wouldn't be in this situation, would we?"

My fists balled at me sides in anger. "You're the one apologizing for something you can't even explain!"

"That's because I – don't – know – what made you afraid of me."

"You don't know? You really don't?" I asked, my own voice rising to meet the intensity and volume of his.

"No!"

"It's everything!"

"Everything," he asked. His voice raised just a bit more and his body started to shake the way it did at the bonfire.

"The way you stare at me. It's the way you don't say anything, but you just _stare_. And then you think you have control over what I do!"

By now, frustration had taken control and the words slipped easily from my lips.

"I do it because – "

I interrupted him, "Because _what_, Paul; because you _care_? I'm old enough to take care of myself and make my own decisions! You don't know me enough to make them for me!"

His body erupted in small trembles. "You don't get it!"

"Oh, and what don't I get? You and your friends think _werewolves_ are real! Is that it? Am I supposed to believe that you're a werewolf and then everything will be better?"

Paul staggered back a bit, his shaking growing more intense. All the guys that were in the house when I came – Jake, Seth, and Jared – came running out. I heard the door slam shut before I realized they were standing next to me ready to jump on Paul. But they didn't attack him like I expected them to; I guess they saw something that I didn't see.

My eyes fluttered back to Paul. I gasped at the sight before me. His body was shaking even more. I was worried. Even though I'd been yelling at him just a few seconds ago, I was still worried. I was angry with him for everything, every reason I could think of, but I wasn't the type of person to wish something bad to happen on anyone. And it looked like something bad was happening with Paul.

I glanced at Jake and the others worriedly, but they didn't pay any attention to me; their eyes were glued to Paul. I turned around, expecting to see Paul – and I sort of did – but what I saw was Paul as he _changed_ right before my eyes. And the next thing I knew, a colossal dark silver wolf was crouching where Paul had been standing, ready to spring.

I froze. He was a _wolf_?

* * *

"_Mom?"I called out, but she didn't answer._

_Mom wasn't in the tent when I woke up, but I figured she gone out for some fresh air. Dad was still asleep, so I had decided to scan the area to see if she was there; but I came up short, she was nowhere in sight. I began to panic. Where had she gone? Surely, even if she went somewhere, she'd stay close enough so I could hear her, right? But I couldn't see or hear her and the panic I felt only grew when the sound of a wolf howling caught my ears._

_I ran into the tent, shaking my dad, tears slipping from my eyes. "Dad! Dad! Wake up!"_

_He sat up groggily, "What is it?"_

"_Where's mom? I can't find her and I heard a _wolf!_"

* * *

_

I shook my head, trying to keep the flashback from coming again. I didn't want to see everything happen again. I wouldn't be able to bear it.

"Jake, we have to take him into the forest," Jared stated worriedly.

"No," Jake demanded. "Look? He's not moving to attack her. He's not angry."

I didn't understand what they were talking about. He wasn't angry? Looking at the wolf in front of me, I couldn't tell if he was angry or not. My tears blurred my vision and the only thing I was aware of was the fact that there was a wolf in front of me; whether it was Paul or not didn't matter.

The wolf came a step toward me, whining softly. I was rooted to my spot, frozen with an icy fear that coursed through my veins.

* * *

"_Did you find her, dad?" I asked when my dad returned to the camping site. He'd left me to go see if mom was anywhere near us._

"_No. Come on, let's see if she's further out."_

_He motioned for me to follow him, but I cried out in protest. "You have to come, darling," he said, grasping my hand protectively in his. "I don't want to leave you here alone."_

"_Fine, but you have to stay close, okay?" I asked, afraid that we would come face to face with something dangerous._

_Dad nodded his head and we set out into the forest surrounding us. Suddenly, I regretted going on the camping trip like we always did. Maybe dad had been right, maybe we should have done something else; change it up a bit. It was too late now to change anything. All that was left to do was find mom and pray she was okay._

"_Come on," my dad urged, tugging my hand to keep me moving quickly._

_I sped up my pace, still holding his hand and walking on his side. We walked farther and farther in, leaving the campsite behind us at a frightening pace. Soon, when I looked behind, I couldn't see a thing beside trees and the shade provided by them._

"_Daddy," I cried. I only called him that when I was extremely scared, "Where_ is_ she?"_

_He shook his head; he was worried, too, more than he let on. "We'll find her. She has to be here, darling."_

_Trusting my dad was the only thing I could do in a situation like this, so that's what I did; I put my faith in him and prayed that God would help us find my mom safely. We – my family and I – didn't really believe in God; I guess he could sense it when he got my prayers, or something, because he never answered them.

* * *

_

"Paul," Seth called, momentarily snapping me out of my trance.

The wolf – the one Seth called Paul – looked at Seth quickly, returning his gaze to me shortly after. I was scared; completely and utterly afraid of what this wolf was going to do next but at the same time wondering if that really was Paul, because I remember Paul standing right there.

"Phase back," Jake said, strongly.

Phase back? I didn't understand Jake's words, but I knew that – from his sigh – whatever it was, Paul didn't do it.

The wolf advanced toward me again, causing me to stumble backwards a few paces. He howled, a sad howl, into the air at my actions. It made me jump; it _was_ like he was Paul and he'd been hurt when I backed away from him.

* * *

"_Dad!" I screamed when I heard the howling of a wolf once more. "It's _here_."_

"_Don't worry," he whispered, soothingly. "It's not here, it's far off."_

_I believed him, but I was still wary. It sounded like it was close; close enough to send chills up and down my spine. Dad caught sight of something and told me to stay put and that he'd be back in a few seconds. I protested, saying I wanted to go with him and that I didn't want to be left alone but he told me everything would be fine, and then shuffled off._

_While I was alone, I hugged myself tightly, trying to keep myself from freaking out. The wolf didn't howl again, nor did anything seem to move in the forest. It was quiet, and that scared me a little more than the noises. I looked for dad ahead of me but he was out of my sight, blocked by the tree branches. A feeling of worry started to settle upon me. What if he got hurt?_

_I was so focused on praying for his safety that when he came rushing back I jumped. "Dad? What's wrong? Did you find mom?"_

_Dad came over to me; I was surprised at what I saw. He was crying, tears streaming down his face like a waterfall; his face had paled, so much so that I could tell even under the shade of the trees; and he was shaking, trembling slightly, like I'd never seen him do before. His face gave off a sad, yet angered, expression._

"_Daddy…?"_

"_We have to go get you back to the campsite then we have to call the police – "_

_Something was wrong – deadly wrong. "You found mom? Where is she dad; she's hurt?"_

_A sob that he was trying to conceal snuck out and I knew – I _knew_ – that mom wasn't okay. I tried to push past him, but he caught me in his arms tightly. "Dad, let go," I screamed frantically. "I need to see mom!"_

"_Nicoelle, you don't want to go there."_

"_Yes, I do!" I struggled against my dad._

_Finally I succeeded. I pushed myself from his arms and rushed forward, in the direction he'd returned from. Instantly, I wished I hadn't. Before me was the most gruesome scene I'd ever seen and one that would haunt me for the rest of my life; my mother's mangled body. None of her body parts had been torn off, but something had managed to deliver a shocking amount of cuts across her upper and lower body; her face was left untouched, but it was horrible. From looking at her face I could almost imagine the pain she'd gone through and the fear she'd felt._

_I couldn't help it; I fainted.

* * *

_

"Jake, I think we should take her in the house. She looks sick."

Jake ignored Jared, "Paul, phase back."

For whatever reason, the wolf chose to continue ignoring him but he advanced toward me. Frightened, I took another step back but this time, I wasn't successful. I tripped over a few rocks and fell backwards. It happened too quickly for anyone to do anything. My arms stayed at my side as I fell back; my head landed on something sharp, and the immediate pain caused me to gasp loudly.

The last thing I remembered before everything went black was a loud commotion and being carried by someone extremely warm as he whispered, "It's going to be okay, Nikki. I won't let anything happen to you… I love you."

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I got the title for this chapter from the song Battlefield by Jordan Sparks. It seems to fit Paul and Nikki, just a little. Go go; listen to it.

Hey there!  
Thank you so much to my beta, **Spinkle22**, for doing another awesome job at beta-reading my story.  
And thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter; I got 17 reviews!! :) You guys are pretty awesome. I love reading your reviews; they always make me happy. It would take too much space if I replied to _all_ the reviews I got, but I wanted to say thank you to you all. These are two that made me really happy along with the others:  
**Don't Fight It:** Thank you _soooooo_ much for that review! That seriously made me giddy ALL day.  
and **Scribe4eva: **Thank you! You have no idea how happy I was when I read your review

Again, no French this chapter, but there's going to be some next chapter, so no worries!

So leave me those reviews! Here's the question: _What do you think is going to happen next? _And an easier question:_ Who was carrying her at the end?_ Get it right and I'll mention you here!

Remember, each review is like a little hug that keeps me going and writing! :)


	7. Chapter 7

The Road is a Minefield**  
Chapter 7**_  
Vague remembrance _

I woke up to bright lights and silence.

The room I was in was anything but familiar to me. The bed, the floors – everything was foreign. The bright light that shined down on my bed was brighter than anything I would have allowed in my room, and besides, I didn't have – what looked like – medical machines in my room. Not that I had anything against those machines, it's just that – well – I wouldn't _need_ any of it.

My head throbbed and I brought my hand up to try and ease the pain. Confusion consumed me when I felt some kind of wrap around my head.

_Why is my head bandaged?_

On top of that, I couldn't remember _why_ I was in the hospital with a bandaged head. Did I get into an accident? Did someone rob the house and hit me because I was in the way? Whatever the reason was, I didn't care; those three conditions I came upon were the final strike. I mean, it's not every day that I wake up in a completely new place with my head bandaged and no memory of the accident.

_Something_ was wrong.

Panic started to creep its way onto me. I was searching fervently for something near me; anything that could help me answer one of the millions of questions running through my mind, when the door opened and a doctor stepped in.

He was extremely pale – that was the first thing I noticed about him. And he seemed to move with certain flawlessness, almost like he wasn't human. But he was all together human, I suspected, because he had to breath and he lived among humans; that is, of course, unless I had woken up some place where _I _was the strange one. But that was a silly thought; probably a delusion of sorts brought on by some extent of head trauma that I was pretty sure I was undergoing.

The doctor walked over to me and smiled; it was dazzling, the brightest smile I'd ever seen. "How are you feeling, Nicoelle? I'm your doctor, Dr. Cullen."

I frowned. "Where am I?"

Dr. Cullen stepped closer to me, reaching out with his stethoscope. "I need you to take deep breathes for me, alright?" I nodded my head. "Good… You're in a hospital in Forks."

"Forks," I gasped, surprised. I'd _never_ heard of Forks before, how could I be there? "What happened to me?"

He put his stethoscope away and after scribbling a few things down on the paper on his clipboard, he smiled down at me in what I suspected he believed was a soothing way.

"You saw a wolf and you fainted."

"Fainted?" I questioned. "I've never fainted before in my life… and what wolf?"

"You don't remember?"

"No…"

"You were with some friends and you saw a wolf in the forest, and you fainted."

What friends? "Where _is_ Forks, Doctor?"

"Washington," the doctor said, as he reached over and tucked the wrap around my head back in.

I gasped at two things; being in Washington and the doctor's hands. As he pulled away, his hands brushed against my shoulder. They were freezing cold, almost like what you'd expect a dead body to feel like.

"What's wrong?" Dr. Cullen asked, cautious because of my sudden gasp.

"_Washington_? I live in Colorado, Dr. Cullen." I left out the part about his hands.

"Do you know where La Push is?"

I shook my head.

"I see…" he trailed off.

The doctor looked at me strangely, calculating something in his mind. I stared back just as calculatingly; curious as to what he was going to say, but slightly afraid. Suddenly, something flickered in his eyes and he put his clipboard down. After excusing himself politely, he left the room, leaving me confused.

Everything that occurred with the doctor seemed like a fuzzy dream. He told me I'd seen a wolf and fainted, landing me in this hospital. But why wasn't I in a hospital in Colorado? Why was I all the way in Washington? More importantly, why couldn't I remember what happened? If it was so important that I'd end up in a hospital, surely I should be able to know what the reason is… Yet, I didn't. And the doctor left like he'd realized something; I didn't know what that something was, but it was important, I could tell.

I didn't have long to contemplate; the doctor returned quickly with someone trailing behind him, out of my view. When he reached the side of my bed, Dr. Cullen stepped off to the side. "Do you know who this is?"

A man appeared from behind the doctor and moved to stand near the edge of my bed.

Staring at the doctor strangely, I nodded my head, "Of course. That's my dad. Why wouldn't I know him?"

A puzzled look crosses the doctor's features. "Hm…"

"Dr. Cullen? What did you think was wrong with her?"

"I was under the notion that she had amnesia," he stated. His eyebrows still furrowed in confusion; he seemed completely shocked that I had remembered my dad. "She doesn't know where she's at and she wants to know why she isn't in Colorado."

"Colorado," dad asked, confused.

Dr. Cullen nodded his head.

"I don't have amnesia, dad." My voice was strong and insistent, and Dad knew me well enough to know that I was telling the truth.

"I'm very sorry, Mr. Heaven, I believe I was wrong in my diagnosis. I was so sure that she had lost her memory with the questions she asked me and the way she reacted when I told her where she was."

"It's alright, doctor."

"You shouldn't go around accusing people of having amnesia," I said, hotly.

Having woken up in a strange place did nothing for my temper, really, it only worsened it. I knew my dad would be upset at me for behaving so rudely, but I didn't care. On top of everything that happened that morning, I didn't like it when I was accused of having something I didn't.

"_Nikki_." My dad warned.

"No, it's alright Mr. Heaven. I agree, and I apologize for it, Nicoelle. I'm happy to hear that I was wrong."

"No, no, Dr. Cullen. You were simply making sure she was okay," dad told him, smiling. He turned to me, a stern look plastered on his face. "Demande pardon, tu."

I groaned, what had _I _done wrong? I was the one in the hospital being accused of having amnesia.

"Fine," I grumbled. "Dr. Cullen, I'm sorry that I got upset over having been incorrectly diagnosed and accused of having amnesia. I'm sure any person would be fine if it happened to them and I _severely_ over reacted."

I smiled at my dad who in turn sent a stern glare in my direction. So it wasn't the type of apology he'd expected – one laced with sarcasm – it was the only one I was in the mood to give to this doctor. He'd take it or leave it.

Much to my surprise, the doctor chuckled. "Apology accepted."

I held back the glare I wanted to send his way.

_I didn't like him._

"Dad, can you get mom and take me home already?"

A gasp escaped my dad's lips as he stared at me in shock. "Dr. Cullen? May I talk to you outside for a moment?"

"Of course."

Dad made a move to turn around and walk out the door to follow the doctor, who exited only seconds after he agreed.

"Dad!"

He stopped in his tracks, "Yes?"

"Where's…"

"Where's who, darling?" He asked, concerned.

"I don't know," I told him. It felt like some else – not mom – needed to be there with me, sitting by my side. "It just feels like somebody's missing."

With a questioning look on his face, my dad answered me, "Darling, I think you're tired. I'll be right back, alright?"

I nodded my head and watched as he left me alone, to go talk to the doctor. I didn't know what it was about, but I was pretty sure it was about me; otherwise they wouldn't have left the room to go talk. Curiosity got the better of me and the need to hear what they were talking about made me force myself off the bed. Slowly, I swung my legs over the side, letting them dangle while I used my arms to prop myself up. The second my feet touched the floor and the bed was no longer supporting me, I went spiraling down with a loud crash.

Dad and the doctor came rushing in; the doctor to my aid as my dad stared in shock and worry.

"What happened?" the doctor asked as he helped hoist me back onto the bed.

"I was trying to walk but I got dizzy." This time, I glared. I didn't like this doctor, for some reason, and I didn't plan on acting nice.

"You shouldn't try to move."

_No shit, Sherlock._

"Dad?" I called out.

"Yeah?" He came over and sat next to me. Comfortingly, he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I just want to go home." I was tired and out of it; too much had gone on in such a short time.

Dad nodded his head and asked the doctor if we could leave yet. When the doctor gave him the okay to leave, he stood up and draped my arm around his shoulder. He wasn't taking any chances; he didn't want me to fall again, like I did earlier. "Thanks dad," I told him softly as he helped me out of the room, going along with my slow pace.

The minute we stepped out of the door, we were bombarded by a group of guys and girls. There were four guys and three girls, and they were all gorgeous in their own way. But one stuck out to me in particular, he was tall and built, but not too built to where he looked ridiculous.

And he was the first one to come up to me.

It nearly made my heart stop.

"You're okay! Thank God, I was so worried…" I didn't even know him, but I could hear the remorse and the sorrow laced in his words; and the guilt.

I stared at him in blankly. What was he talking about? "I don't know –"

"Paul," one of the girls called; she was beautiful, even with the scars that cascaded down one side of her face.

_Paul_.

His name brought a surge of excitement in me, something almost recognizable, but still too vague for me to latch onto.

The one in front of me – Paul – looked from me to her, and then back again. With a frown on his lips, he backed away. I wondered if he was dating her. I felt jealous all of a sudden. _He_ couldn't be dating anyone could he? It felt like he belonged with _me_ and no one else.

"Man, you had us scared there for a second," one of the others said. He looked younger, maybe the youngest of everyone there.

Again, I stared at him blankly.

"We thought you - "

I interrupted him. "I don't know who you are!"

There was silence.

"You don't?" The one they called Paul asked.

I shook my head. "No… but it's nice to meet you? I'm Nikki."

They each took turns introducing themselves, but I could see it in their eyes that they were confused about their actions. When Paul came around and introduced himself, he held my hand a little longer than the rest and a little longer than necessary; but I liked it. I liked the way my hand felt in his.

"I need to talk to you guys," dad said, speaking to the group of seven. They nodded their heads, obviously confused about something. "Just sit here, okay?" Dad helped me sit on the nearest chair and went over to make talk with the group. I was too tired to try and listen this time; besides, I didn't want to fall again. The first fall left me sore and more tired than I was to start with.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. The coolness from the wall cooled my head, spreading to my entire body.

Now that I finally had time to think, I wondered why I was there. Why wasn't in Colorado? Maybe mom and dad had moved here? But that wouldn't explain why I didn't know about it; surely to get me here I'd have to know about it. And my mom; where was she? She wasn't at the hospital waiting for me, where else could she be? She was always the one to sit by me day and night until I could go home. It wasn't likely that she would just leave me with dad.

I couldn't remember the last thing I did, either, at least not clearly. It was like I knew who my mom and dad were, but not what the last thing we did together was. It was strange and frustrating. The whole time dad was talking; I tried to force myself to remember.

"Darling? We're going home…"

I opened my eyes. Dad looked worried and frustrated. I hated seeing him like that, but I didn't know what I could do to make him stop worrying. It seemed like his concern was far too deep for me to cure.

"Home?"

"Yeah, in La Push."

"What?" I asked, confused. "_Daddy_, home's in Colorado!"

"I'll explain it to you later alright, when we get there. I have to go and sign some papers. Paul is going to help you to the car."

"Dad, I –"

He walked away before I could protest. It wasn't that I didn't like Paul – in fact, I did – but I was pretty sure he would be able to hear my heart pounding against my chest as I leaned into him for support.

"Nikki?"

I looked up; Paul was standing there, a soft smile on his lips as he waited for my permission. "Oh, yeah. Let's go."

He nodded his head and hoisted me up. Unlike my father who was older and weaker, Paul was able to pick me up and carry me to the car, the whole time my head resting against his chest. I was _definitely_ sure he could hear my heart.

"You okay," Paul asked when we got to the car. The others took the other car to our house, Paul was the only one who was riding in the car with my dad and I. "You're turning red."

I blushed even harder than I had been. "Yeah," I said, a little breathlessly. I looked up at Paul.

The deep worry laced in his features brought a sense of familiarity back to me. I'd _seen_ him look at me that way before.

An image flickered in my mind; Paul was standing next to me, staring at me worried. His arms were down at his sides, but it looked like he wanted to reach out to me. I couldn't place where we were, there were no sounds with the memory, just images. It was dark and there were trees, a lot of them, behind Paul – a forest? We were somewhere near a forest at night and Paul was worried about me?

_I was someone Paul worried about._

The shocked expression on my face furthered his worry.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I just _remembered_ you."

* * *

Thank you to my lovely beta **Spinkle22**, for her job-well-done and her fantastic advice. :D

And, woot! You awesome readers are to smart for me, everyone who guessed got it right! _Dancingwiththecullens18, Jacinda L., , Springtime sunshine, Technicolor feelings, Don't fight it_, and _Caleb's babe. _Congrats on getting it right!  
And thank you all sooo much! I got 16 reviews for this past chapter. You readers make me so happy!!!

**FRENCH: **_Demande pardon, tu: _Thanks to **Californication13** I got the translation!! It's : You should ask for forgiveness.

_So..._ Question for this chapter's review:_ Is Nikki going to have to go through the mundane business of reintroducing herself to everyone? Or is something else going to happen?_

Leave me those lovely reviews!!

**ANNNNNDDD:** much to my surprise, I got nominated!! Yep, this story got nominated for best drama at **The Golden Chocolate Awards.  
**  
So go vote for me and show you're support for this story!! :D

Voting starts on July 26th and ends on the 31st!

http: / / Goldenchocolateadwards . webs . com/

Just take out the spaces and then it'll go. And yes, I know it says adwards. Haha, typo when they made it? If this web adress for some reason doesn't work, there's one on my profile page.


	8. The horrid but necessary AN

Hey!

I know, I know. You were probably expecting a nice long chapter to read when you noticed this, but were disappointed to find it was just an author's note.

But this is really important, kay?! :D

This story was nominated for **Best Imprint** at Silent Tear Awards and I need you lovely readers to go and vote for me.

Why?

Because you're awesome people.  
ANNNNDDD, It'll inspire me to write more!!

So PLEASEEEEEE go vote for me.

http: // silent - tear - awards . yolasite . com/

Just take out the spaces and remember; **best imprint**.

LOVE YOUUUUU ~


	9. Chapter 8

The Road is a Minefield**  
Chapter 8**_  
Short and Sexy!  
_

The night I came "home" from the hospital, I caught glimpses of people in my dream; some of those I'd seen at hospital and some I couldn't recognize, but _must_ have seen before. I woke up the next morning more frustrated than I had been when I fell asleep. I hated seeing these people and not remembering the simplest things about them, like their names. How was it possible that I _knew_ them, but at the same time I _didn't_?

"Nicoelle, come down for breakfast!" I groaned.

This was unlike the dad I knew, who'd let me sleep in as long as I made my own breakfast and took care of myself. And that could only mean one thing; he wanted me to do something, something I'd probably be against.

Shrugging off my blankets, I pulled myself out of bed and into the bathroom. After doing my morning routine – combing my mess of hair; washing my face; brushing my teeth – I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where my dad was sitting, waiting for me with a bright smile.

"Hey, dad. What's up with waking me so early?"

I stifled a yawn.

It wasn't like I was upset with him really; not like I'd had a beautiful dream; actually, he'd woken me up from a horrible nightmare about my mother.

"I want you to go shopping in Port Angeles. You need some new clothes, right? It'll be good for you."

"Where's mom? She can come with me…"

Dad caught the hint I threw at him – I could tell by the way he fidgeted – and ignored it. "Go alone."

I sighed, "Dad, when are you going to tell me where mom is?" Screw hints, I needed to know.

"I'll tell you later, darling. I promise." I nodded, admitting defeat. _But who knew when later was?_

Dad took out his wallet and handed me a credit card. "Use this. Don't spend too much, okay?"

"Okay, dad. I won't."

Truth be told, I didn't feel like going shopping. All I felt like doing was curling up under my sheets and falling back asleep. The whole night I kept waking up. And every time I fell asleep, the nightmares got worse and worse, the situations became more gruesome each time. With the little sleep I'd gotten, I felt like I would collapse any minute.

"Eat this and throw the dishes in the sink. I'll wash them, and take the car. Be careful, darling. I've got to get to work."

Dad shuffled over to me, pulling me into a quick hug before disappearing around the corner and out of the house. I guessed he was walking to work, because he left me the car and the keys.

I ate the bacon and eggs and, after throwing the dishes in the sink and running up stairs to change, I grabbed the keys and went to the car.

Dad was hiding something, I could feel it, and I had the sense that it had something to do with mom and where she was. I wished he would tell me; I wished he would ease the growing worry I felt inside. If he had seen the kinds of nightmares I'd had…

The car started with a loud rumble; I jumped in my seat.

"This is going to be a long day…" I grumbled.

I put the car in gear and pulled out of the driveway, making my way to Port Angeles. It wasn't really a long drive there but it felt like an eternity to me. For the first time in a while, I wasn't in the mood for music, leaving myself to be consumed by the silence. And with nothing else to focus my thoughts on, I thought about everything I'd forgotten.

It was so frustrating not being able to remember things. The worst of it all was not knowing the people around me who I _felt_ like I was supposed to know. Not being able to put a name to the face, not knowing what I'd told them before and not knowing where my relationship with all of them was. Yet, I knew I had some sort of connection with my friends in La Push.

They'd been willing to stay by my side yesterday, which meant I had to mean something to them. And, I wondered, how close had we all gotten? From what dad told me, we were only in La Push for about a week or so, had we grown that close that quickly? A part of me felt like that was true, that in that week or so we'd all become close. But, a part of me wondered if that was true.

I had a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me things hadn't been anywhere near perfect. Did that mean we'd gotten into fights with each other? I didn't know – and because of my amnesia, I was pretty sure I never would.

_DAMN IT!_

I slammed my hands against the steering wheel.

Was this how it was going to be? How long was I going to be like this? How long until I remembered everything?

_Would I ever remember?_

Fiercely, I wiped away a few stray tears that fell from my eyes. This wasn't fair; why did I have to get amnesia? I wanted to remember everything; to know where my mom was, to know who everyone was, and to feel sure of myself. But I couldn't. At least, not until I remembered, and it didn't seem like I was going to remember anytime soon.

I pulled into the closest parking space I could find in Port Angeles, which happened to be in front of a café. I turned the engine off, letting the keys dangle as I rested my head against the steering wheel.

I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I knew I needed to pull myself together if I was planning on getting anything done. So I shoved the keys into my bag and forced myself out of the car with a smile, and headed to the nearest clothing store. I knew that part of the reason dad sent me here was to ease his own mind, that was probably filled with unnecessary guilt for whatever happened to me, and this was his way of trying to make up for it.

I was going to grin and bear it.

The closer I got to the clothing store, the more I dreaded the coming hours. I didn't hate shopping, but I had to be in the mood to go. Otherwise, it was a dreadful event. I sighed, closing my eyes and squeezing the bridge of my nose.

Someone bumped into my back, sending me falling to the floor.

Instinctively, my hands – already near my face – guarded me.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there…"

Shaking my head, I pushed myself up. "It's okay," I said, politely. "Oh!"

"Nikki?"

I smiled. It was _Kim_ who bumped into me! "Kim," I exclaimed. She just made my day a little better. I'd rather have someone – one of my friends – here with me when I was feeling like this; it'd take my mind off things.

"I'm _so_ sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going and you were walking so slow – "

I laughed. "Don't worry, Kim. What are you doing here?"

Kim smiled. "Just out shopping!"

She answered a little too quickly for my liking – and she had that mischievous glint in her eyes – and I wondered if she was planning something.

My eyebrows raised, "You sure?"

She nodded her head vigorously. "Of course! Are you shopping too?"

I nodded my head.

"Great, why don't we go together?"

"Sure," I replied, happy for the company.

I didn't realize we had reached the store while we were talking. I opened the door and, once we were inside, we went separate ways to find the clothes we wanted. Despite my earlier feelings of not wanting to be here, there were actually a lot of things I found I needed. One of those things was shorts. I ran a lot and – after looking through my clothes – I realized I didn't have enough. I grabbed a few jeans shorts and a few elastic shorts I could use for running, before heading off to see what else the store had.

There were tons of racks of clothes; from tank tops, to dresses, to running clothes. I had to say, I was shocked, it was the first time I'd seen a clothing store with such variety. It was hard to choose where to go to first. I closed my eyes and pointed in a random direction; I ended up going over to a rack of t-shirts.

By the time I had searched the whole store it was already lunch. With a handful of clothes, I set off to find Kim.

"Kim," I called, earning a few glares from the customers. I giggled, what was _their_ problem? If _they_ were going through what_ I_ was going through, they wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Kim stuck her head around a rack of clothes. "Yeah?"

I jumped, dropping the clothes in my hands.

"Jeez, Kim! You scared me!"

She laughed. "Sorry."

I bent down and gathered my clothes. As I was getting up, I noticed that familiar mischievous glint in her eyes. "What's up?"

Smiling, she replied, "I have something I want you to try on!"

"Uh…" I eyed her warily.

"Come on!"

I sighed; she wasn't going to give up. "Fine!"

Kim ushered me into a fitting room, taking my clothes and filling my hands with an outfit she'd chosen. She shut the door, leaving me alone.

I stared at the clothes in my hand. Holding them up so I could see, I gasped. I was _not_ going to wear that! Kim had given me the shortest skirt I had ever seen and a tight shirt that had only one strap. "KIM!" I opened the door and burst out.

"Yes?" she asked, innocently.

"Don't try to be innocent! When am I ever going to wear this?!"

She laughed. "Aw, come on. Just try it on. You don't have anything like that, right?" I nodded my head. "See? You're gonna need it if you go on a date."

I glanced at her skeptically. "When am I going on date?"

She shrugged her shoulders, trying to seem nonchalant. "You never know… _please_?"

Sighing, I closed the door and changed into the outfit. Staring at myself in the mirror, I tugged at the hem of the skirt. It was so _short_! "Kim, this is too short!" I complained.

I could hear her laughing on the other side of the door. "Come out, I wanna see?"

"No! I'm taking this off now!"

"Come _on_."

Grumbling, I gave in. "Fine." I swung open the door.

"Wow, Nikki, you look _great_." I blushed.

"Thanks, Kim. Can I get out off this now?"

"Yep! I'm buying that for you!"

I gasped. "What? No, you don't have to!"

"I'm buying it."

Kim sure was stubborn, but I felt like I wanted to reach out and hug her. Even though I didn't _remember_ who she was exactly, I had remembered her face and I knew she was a good friend. The way she was acting around me made me happy; she was behaving as if nothing had changed – or so I think – and she wasn't trying to be careful around me.

"Ah. You're so stubborn!" She laughed and I changed out of my clothes. After grabbing my clothes from her – and arguing about the outfit she wanted to buy for me – we checked out and left the store.

"Where are you going now?" Kim asked.

"I think I'll head home. I'm kind of tired; couldn't sleep last night."

Kim nodded her head. "Here're your clothes."

"Thanks Kim, you really didn't have to." I couldn't help but grin.

"I know," she said. "But I wanted to."

I smiled. "Hey, Kim?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Um," Kim thought for a moment before replying, "Nothing!"

"Why don't you come over tomorrow for lunch? The guys can all come too." I smiled.

I wanted to see everyone, to match names with the faces I saw in my head. I wanted to see if I'd remember anything else when I saw them. And, I wanted to see _him_ again.

"Thinking of getting to see someone," she asked slyly.

"Yeah," I answered, absentmindedly, still concentrated on my thoughts. "Oh! I mean… uh… Just joking?"

Kim laughed at my reaction. Well at least _she_ thought it was funny. "I'm just playing with you. I already know you like him."

I tilted my head at Kim. "What do you mean? How do you know…?"

She laughed, "It's obvious."

Just as I was about to reply, her phone went off. She answered it and spoke for a few minutes, before holding the phone from her ear and turning to me. "It's Jared, he's coming to pick me up."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow?"

She nodded her head. "Of course. I'll call the others."

I hugged her quickly and made my way to my car. On my way home, there was one thing running through my mind.

_What _was_ my relationship with Paul like?_

_

* * *

_

Thank you loads to my beta reader, _Spinkle22. :D_

Okay, so i'll admit, I don't really like this chapter. It's a little dry, in my opinion, but it was necessary!! I promise, I wouldn't put you through anything boring for no reason. It sets up the next chapter. I would have put the two together but, it would have been _really_ long and you would have had to wait longer too. I hope you don't hate me to much and you still review.

And, 14 reviews for the last chapter!! Haha, and 9 for my little note. :P Thank you so much!! And don't forget, vote vote vote!!

**This is important**: My lovely bet reader will be gone for three weeks - I believe - starting from August 2nd. So, unfortunately, she won't be able to beta my story. Which means, for three weeks of August, I'm _alone!_ I have the next chapter almost complete and I'm planning on sending her that chapter to beta, so i have _something_ to post. After that, I'm going to try and write two more chapters, so I can post 1 each week of the three she's gone.

I want to know, is that a good idea? Let me know what you think!

Should I write little side stories while she's gone? Should I just write more chapter for this story so I can post those when she comes back?

LEAVE ME THE LOOVVEE!

P.S: This is an edit: I just found out, this story got **nominated** for _best angst_ at the golden chocolate awards!! The link is in my profile, vote on the 26th!

P.P.S: Is this storyline to soap opera-y for you? I don't believe I've ever watched a soap opera, but one of you said it sounded like one... D:


	10. Chapter 9

The Road is a Minefield  
**Chapter 9**_  
Damned Steaks_

"_Mom? Are we going now?"_

_I was sitting on my mom's bed, impatiently swinging my legs off the edge. Dressed in a simple black dress and high heels, it seemed like we were planning on going somewhere fancy. I was reassured of this when my mom walked out in the most gorgeous dress I'd ever seen in my life._

_The dress was black, fading to grey toward the bottom, held up by a single strap over her right shoulder. It was snug around her chest and waist, loosening up and flowing at the end._

"_How do I look, sweetheart?"_

_I smiled, proud to say this woman was mom. "You look _hot_, mom."_

_My mom laughed – like tinkling bells – but I could see a slight blush creep onto her face. "Thank you, dear. Now, let's go. You're father's probably waiting at the restaurant for us."_

_Nodding my head and lacing my hand with hers, we set off down the stairs and into the car. She got into the driver's seat and I took the passenger's seat. We got buckled in and she started the car, heading off in a foreign direction to me._

"_We need to stop at the bank first; I need to pick up some money," she told me._

"_To give to me?" I asked, playfully, nudging her with my elbow._

_Jokingly she tapped my head, "Of course not."_

_This was what I loved about my mother; we looked so different in appearance – as if she wasn't related to me at all – but when we were together, it was obvious I was her daughter. The way we acted together; that chemistry we had made it undeniable._

_She reached forward and flicked the radio on. A song we used to sing together all the time played through the speakers. For a split second, she turned to look at me, a silly expression on her face and a happy glint in her eyes. Without another thought, she turned her attention back to the road and opened her mouth to sing._

"_Tell me that we belong together…" she started._

_I erupted in laughter. Let's just say that I got my singing talent – or lack thereof – from my mother._

"_Sing a long," she urged, in between laughter._

"_I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips."_

_She erupted in her own laughter at my singing. "You're horrible!"_

"_Hey," I complained, glaring at her in a vain attempt to be threatening. "You sing just as horribly."_

_Mom couldn't see my "glare," but she knew me well enough to know my actions. "You're not scary, Ni-Ni."_

_I groaned. "Mommm," I dragged. "I told you not to call me Ni-Ni."_

"_Why not?" she pouted._

_A grown woman pouting; yeah, that was mom. "Because, I'm not a baby anymore."_

"_But I _love_ calling you Ni-Ni…" The pout looked like it got bigger and I swear I saw her eyes begin to water. She denies it every time I ask her, but I know she took acting classes when she was younger._

_I gave up, like I did every time she pouted. "Fine, you can call me that." She gave a triumphant "woo" and turned her gaze on me for a second or two._

_But that was all it took._

"_Mom!"_

_It was like everything was moving in slow motion. She tore her gaze from me and stared in horror at the man she was about to hit on the road. She stomped on the breaks, but it was already too late. She hit the man, sending him flying a few feet away from the car. He hit the ground, and didn't move._

_I could hear my heart beating a million times faster than it should have been and I had felt it when my face had paled. Looking at my mom, I noticed she was feeling the same way. "Mom?" I croaked._

"_Stay here, sweetheart. Don't come out of the car, okay?"_

_I shook my head, "You're not going out _there_!"_

_To get to the bank, we'd been driving through a dodgy looking neighborhood. And, at night, it didn't look like the safest place to get out of the car, especially when there wasn't really anyone around to help. The only people there had been a bunch of kids hanging out at the corner of the street, some way off; it seemed like they had noticed what had happened and were watching intently._

"_I have to, he's hurt. Just tell me you'll stay in the car."_

"_Momma! Just call the police and stay in here with me."_

_Mom turned in her seat and leaned forward, cupping my face with her hands. She kissed my forehead softly and whispered, "I have no choice, Ni-Ni. Tell me you'll stay here."_

"_Momma," I chocked out in a sob. Tears were falling from my eyes; she was crying, too._

"_Let me know you'll stay in the car," she pressed._

_Shaking my head, I answered, "I can't momma, I want you to stay here with me."_

"_I'll be right back, okay? Just stay here."_

_I couldn't fight with my mom anymore about this; she had won and she knew it. I just nodded my head and stayed silent as she walked out of the car, telling me to lock the doors. My heart pounded harder and harder – so hard I thought it would burst – as she got closer to the body. And the closer she got to the body, the closer those guys who'd been so far at one point, got to her._

_She kneeled down by the body, checking for any signs of life. Everything that happened next, I wish I didn't see. The guys had gotten to my mom much faster than I thought possible – I guess they had been running. They were talking to her, forcefully, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. It looked like my mom was raising her voice; she had that look on her face she always got when she was yelling at me. Suddenly, one of the guys slapped her face hard enough to send her crashing to the floor._

_Mom!_

_Despite what she had told me, I unlocked the door and rushed out. "Mom! Se sauver!"_

_I caught the attention of the guys. They looked at each other and two of the four started making their way to me. Panicking, I saw my mother stand up and rush at the one closest to me. Grunting at the impact of her tackle, he turned around and pushed her off. Instead of stopping and running away, like I prayed she would do, she rushed him again. This time, he was ready for her; I hadn't seen it until it was too late, but he'd pulled out a knife and when she charged him, she ran straight into the knife. She fell to the ground; tears falling and blood dripping from the wound on her stomach._

"_MOM!"_

I woke with a start, rolling off my bed and landing on the ground in a mess of sheets. At the bottom of my stomach, a nauseous feeling resided. Had that been a dream or was it a memory? Uncertainty clouded my judgment but I refused to believe it was real, no matter how vivid it had been. Untangling myself from the sheets and standing up, I tried to shake it off.

It was just a nightmare.

I needed to do something to get my mind off of things. Deciding I'd do the grocery shopping for the lunch today, I got dressed and quietly tiptoed my way through the house. Dad was still sleeping – he'd wake up in an hour or two for work – and I didn't want to wake him up. I managed to grab all my things – my bag, wallet, keys, and iPod – and leave the house without making any noise. As soon as I was out, I grabbed my iPod and turned it on, scrolling to a random song.

Humming along, I enjoyed the fresh morning air and the calmness. I continued humming for a while, until I could finally see the store coming up. I smiled; it felt like I'd been walking forever and I turned around to see how far I had _actually_ walked.

It was just like when I saw Paul's face and had that flashback, only this time I just saw the forest. It was another silent memory, but I was alone. I could only see myself; I was walking along the forest and it was dark – just like the last flashback – and I looked upset. Suddenly, I turned around and I was looking at something in the forest, before I took off sprinting. That was it; the memory disappeared, leaving me standing there confused.

What did that memory mean? I wondered what had I seen in the forest to make me run? I shoved the memory and question to the back of my mind; it didn't seem too relevant, and if it was then it would just sort itself out later.

Closing the distance between the store and me was fast and soon I was walking around the isles of the store cursing myself for not taking the time to write a list. I tried to think of what I needed and decided to go with the first thing to pop into my mind, which happened to be dessert. I headed to the isle where I knew the cake mix would be. But, with my luck, I couldn't reach it. Even as I tiptoed I was still too short to reach it. Just as I was about to give up, some one reached for it and brought it down, handing it to me.

I turned around to see Jake standing over me, smiling. "Hey Jake! What are you doing here?"

He said something, but I only stared blankly at him. I couldn't hear him. Rolling my eyes at my own antics, I pulled my earphones out and put my iPod away. "What did you say?"

"Emily sent me shopping," he sighed. I laughed at the expression on his face.

"Come on, it isn't _that_ bad. We can shop together, that way it won't be as boring."

Jake nodded his head and he and I set off down the isles, tossing whatever we needed into our baskets. "So, is everyone coming?" I asked.

He put the loaf of bread he was holding in his basket. "Yup, _everyone_." Don't think I missed the way he said _everyone_; I just ignored it.

"That's great! I have to remember to cook a lot of food," I laughed. We'd stumbled upon the meat section and I stared at it hopelessly. "Hey, what kinds of food do you guys like to eat?"

"Anything. _Paul_ likes steaks."

"Oh, really?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Jake chuckled as I threw a couple steaks in my basket.

_Damn Jake._

"I see you grabbed some steak," he taunted, struggling to hold in the smile I knew wanted to come.

Aggravated, I answered, "Yeah. I _happen_ to like steak."

"I know what you _happen_ to like and I doubt it's steak."

I turned my head away from him, trying to hide my blush. "_Shut up_, Jake."

He laughed at my reaction, ruffling my hair, "Aw, I'm just playin."

Tearing my head from his grip and fixing my hair, I said, "I'm done, I'm going to pay for this." And, so he didn't think I was mad – although I'm pretty sure he knew I wasn't – I smiled.

We both paid for our things and parted outside the store. I had to walk home having walked there; it was a lot harder with the amount of food I had bought. I would've asked Jake for a ride home, but he said he walked there too. Luckily, I managed to handle carrying everything and made it home in roughly thirty minutes or so.

Laying everything out on the kitchen table gave me a great sense of relief, having the weight taken off of me. But I didn't have time to rest. Ten thirty had rolled around quicker than I expected and I needed to start cooking if anything was going to be done in time. Taking the ingredients out of the bags and lying them on the counter was the first thing I did; after washing the vegetables, I took out the chopping board and started chopping them and placing them into bowls. I started cooking the stew first – because it took the longest – and started preparing everything for the spaghetti. By the time the stew and the spaghetti was almost finished, the steak was done, and the cake was just thrown into the oven, it was a few minutes till twelve.

The bell rang. I sighed; I hadn't had time to relax, but I was excited for them to arrive. _Finally_, I'd see everyone. All of a sudden, I was hit by uncertainty and fear; I'd gotten to know the people who were at the hospital, but what about the others? What if they didn't like me; what if they brought back things I didn't want to remember?

Running to the door, I answered it right when they rang the doorbell again.

"Hey, Nikki!"

I smiled, trying to push my fear away. "Hey, Kim. Hey guys!"

They all chuckled and came in; could they tell I was excited?

"You guys can wait in the living room." We went to the living room, where they filled the couches and the floor. There were a lot of them. The people I knew – Jared, Seth, Jake, Paul, Leah, Emily, and Kim – were there, along with some faces that I had seen before. "So, uh, who is everyone?" I felt stupid asking that.

"This is Embry, Quil, and Sam," Leah introduced. I nodded my head.

"Sorry 'bout that. I knew your faces, but not your names."

They nodded their heads in understanding. "It's okay," Embry said.

A few of them stifled yawns. I wondered what they had been doing all day to make them so tired.

"What have you guys been doing? You all look tired."

Seth piped up; "We were out patrolling late last night so we could come today."

I caught the warning look Sam sent Seth, who'd apparently said something he shouldn't have. "Patrolling? Like police stuff?"

"Yeah," Sam replied, before anyone else could say anything. I got the feeling that I should leave it at that, so I did.

"I'm just gonna set out the plates…"

Paul stood up. "I'll help you."

Kim and Emily erupted in laughter; the guys shared looks. I hushed the _shut it_ I wanted to say and headed into the kitchen, Paul following in back of me. Immediately I walked over to the cabinets and started taking out plates and cups.

"Here, let me get those." Paul came up from behind me and started taking out the rest of the dishes. "What did you see, when you remembered me?"

I was taken by surprise with his question. "We were near a forest, or somewhere with a lot of trees, and you looked worried."

He gave me that looked as if asking if that was all.

"I couldn't remember anything else…"

He nodded his head. "So… how are you feeling?"

I stared at him in confusion; he was the first person to ask me that. "Um… a little frustrated. I can see faces and things, but I can never place them. And…"

"And?" Paul had moved closer to me, leaning against the counter. Worry was settling on his face, like it always seemed to do when he was around me.

"It's nothing," I laughed, trying to make him forget about it. "Nothing."

He sighed and it looked like he was trying to hold back something he wanted to say. "Why don't we tell everyone they can eat?"

He nodded his head and we went out to the living room. Everyone was laughing and talking. I should have though before I said it, but I didn't. Instead, I spouted out, "Lunch's ready."

The guys rushed into the kitchen, leaving me alone with the girls.

"You made _steak_?" Leah asked, smirking.

I groaned. "Not you too!"

Laughing, she rested her hand on my shoulder. "So he _is_ why you cooked it."

"No," I denied. "Stop that, you guys!"

I rushed away from the three into the kitchen. Halting at the door in surprise, I gasped. "Jeez, save food for the rest of us, will ya!"

They all stopped eating for a few seconds, before returning to eating – in an animalistic manner – the food off their mile high piled plates. The girls walked in behind me, laughing at my reaction.

"These steaks are _great_, Nikki," Paul called, almost blissfully as he took another bite of his steak.

The room erupted in laughter once again.

I groaned.

_Damned steaks._

_

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_Oh My Geezums~!_

Thank you to my beta reader, **spinkle22**, for doing a great job on this chapter.

And thank you for the reviews for the last chapter!!! I don't remember how many there were, my mind's been in a jumble lately.

**FRENCH: **_Se sauver! : Run away!_

_Don't forget to vote for this story, the links are in my profile!!_

_On a side note: There will be no more chapters for this story until __after_ my beta comes back somewhere in the third week of August. Why? Well, I just found out I'm going to be gone too! And guess where I'm going?! PORT ANGELES. And I'm TOTALLY going down to first beach, DEFINITELY! OMG!

_So leave me your fabulous reviews~_

_p.s. sorry for the suckish A/N, i'm just busy packing.  
_


	11. Chapter 10

The Road is a Minfield  
**Chapter 10**_  
Acting lessons_

In the few weeks that followed, things got a little better. Questions I had wondered about were answered, vaguely if not directly, and I learned to come to terms with them. There was no longer a sense of wonder and fear around my mom; I knew she was gone and, even though dad didn't tell my _why_ she passed away, it was just reassuring to know that she was in a better place and not living out my horrible nightmares.

I didn't feel that way at first; denial was the first thing I'd turned to. I had wondered how it was remotely possible for me to forget something so… important. But the doctor – who I'd had to apologize to properly – said that it was because it was a painful memory and my mind might just be suppressing it. From there I forced myself to accept it; she was gone and moping around for weeks wouldn't bring her back. I was still touchy about the subject, though, and I was sure I would always be.

I started spending more time with the guys down by first beach and at Emily's house. And almost every time I was with them, I'd get a little flashback. But they were never developed enough to let me remember; always a picture of something or a small scene that played out in my head, sometimes silent and sometimes not. I saw Leah telling me that she and the girls were going to bake cookies, but nothing more from that; hearing Paul's voice and smiling, then it fades away; standing next to him holding his hand, while dad took pictures, just an image.

There didn't seem to be any orderand I didn't know enough to put them in a time line; all it left me with was knowing that I _had_ been close to them at one point.

There was a note for me when I woke up. It was from my dad – I could tell by his scribble.

_Had to leave early this morning. I got called in to work today._

_I left you some money on the table, in case you want to do something. If you don't need it, I want you to take it with you anyway. You never know when it'll come in handy._

_And if you're going out, be careful and say hello to your friends for me._

_I love you, __  
__Dad._

Smiling, I folded the note back up and left it on the table, pocketing the money he'd left. Dad was so in tune with my routine that he knew I'd be heading out to see them first thing when I woke up. Despite the amnesia – that the doctor said would either fade on its own or stay forever – I continued to live normally, as much as I could, every day. It didn't bother me much that I didn't know the little things, because I knew the overall picture and that was all that mattered.

Breakfast was simple; bacon and eggs. After eating and getting dressed, I was running down the familiar street to Emily's house, smiling like an idiot, where I knew everyone would most likely be. When I got there, it looked like they had just gotten there too; they were all shirtless – like they usually were – and talking loudly, pushing each other around jokingly. It never failed to surprise me how afraid I was that they would hurt each other.

"Paul," I screamed, running up to him and jumping on his back, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

He laughed, "Good morning to you too, Nikki."

I'd greeted them all similarly many times before, but Paul more than the rest of them had been tackled by me.

I moved my head, leaning over his shoulder to see his face. "Yes, it is!"

Being around the guys made me hyper. "Jake! Embry! Seth!" I jumped off Paul's back and ran to give them each an equally tight hug. My ecstatic greeting sent them into a fit of laughter as they walked into Emily's house.

"So what are we doing today?"

I didn't question the lack of the others as we followed the scent of Emily's cooking into the kitchen. They were probably out patrolling like they did every day. Shifts alternated; day and night, but there were almost always a few of the guys missing.

"Besides devouring my food?" Emily asked, smiling.

She was joking, of course. Well, maybe only _half_ joking; the guys tended to savagely eat through everything she made – and she made a lot – so quickly, it was ridiculous… and a little gross to watch.

"Hey! We're growing boys," Embry argued.

They all nodded in agreement. Jake and Seth leaned against the counter, reaching their hands forward and trying to steal a few pieces of bacon, only to get smacked by Emily's cooking spoon. Embry rolled his eyes, but I could tell he wanted a few pieces himself. He just wasn't stupid enough to try and get past Emily. Paul was standing behind me, his hands folded across his chest and a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"I swear if you boys grow any more, you're going to break through the roof!" I couldn't help but say it. They _were_ tall as it was, any taller and I'd be a midget. Not that I already wasn't.

"We can't all be a bunch of dwarfs." Jake laughed.

Embry and Seth joined in too. Paul stayed silent.

I stuck my tongue out. A lame retaliation, but I didn't know what else I was going to say. A dwarf… yeah, I was short.

"Emily," I asked, an idea popping into my head. "Can I have a piece of bacon? It smells delicious."

"Of course. Go right ahead."

The guys' fixed a glare on me as I reached forward and picked up a piece. Taking my sweet time I brought it closer, taking a deep breath and inhaling the wonderful scents it produced. Although I had eaten, my mouth _was_ watering. Opening my mouth, I took a small bite, closing my mouth slowly and acting as if I were savoring every bite.

"Mmm," I exclaimed, "This is _amazing!_"

A few mumbled groans came from my left; I smiled. _Victory_. And I wasn't even done. Still with the piece of bacon in my hand, I turned around to face Paul.

"Hey, Paul."

There was a mischievous look in my eyes; I could tell by the way Paul's face contorted when I looked at him. He was probably wondering what I was about to do. Closing the distance between him and myself, I rested my hand on his chest.

"H-hey, Nikki," he stuttered and I thought I heard one of the guys saying he was _whipped._

"Do you want some?"

Holding up the bacon in front ofhis lips, I trailed my left hand in small circles on his chest. He gulped, a nervous look coming on to his face; clearly the way I was acting was working. Not that it was a complete act. I _liked_ Paul. He was just so… there were no words to even describe him. It felt like he was my everything; my air, my sun, my world.

I'd known Paul for maybe a month, in total, but time didn't mean anything to me. Nothing did, besides him. Nobody knew – at least, I didn't tell anyone – that I liked him, but I've been catching Emily and Kim dropping me hints every now and then. The other day Kim had come over to my house and she just so happened to bring up the outfit she'd bought me into the conversation. She wanted to know if there was any place I was going to wear it to, and if I was going with anyone.

I told her no and she let it drop, but she and Emily would still bring up other things. Did I like anyone? What did I think of Paul? Did I want a boyfriend? Questions like that and ones that were similar, I'd been asked them all.

Some of the guys would drop hints too. It _felt_ like they knew I liked him. Maybe they did?

"Sure," Paul managed to get out, sounding strained.

I smiled mischievously, bringing the bacon into his mouth. Paul's body tensed under my hand as he closed his mouth and slowly chewed the small piece. After he swallowed, he looked down at me cautiously. There was a look in his eyes; one that wasn't familiar to me. It was… different from anything I'd ever seen in him. It was like he was struggling to hold back, to keep himself from doing something he really wanted to do.

"You okay, Paul?" I asked, leaning in closer to him and whispering, so the others wouldn't hear.

"F-fine." He was stuttering again.

Snickers came from behind me. I paid them no mind.

My hand still rested on his chest, while the other I held out in front of me, close to his chin. "Are you sure? You look like you're struggling or something."

More sniggers.

"Yeah," Paul said, finally regaining his composure. Then, a look of sadness filled his eyes.

I was confused, to say the least. What was wrong? What was running through his mind? I wondered if he was upset because of what I had done, but would that have made him sad? Maybe he was offended that I decided to try and seduce him for pay back against the others. But surely he wouldn't mind. It wasn't like he _liked_ me or anything. So why did he seem like he had a problem with it?

Backing up a little, I said quietly, "Oh, okay. If you say so."

"That was cruel, shrimp."

I stuck my tongue out at Jake like I had done earlier. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I was just offering Paul some bacon."

"You know, Nikki," Emily said, placing the last of the food on the table and backing away. "That was _very_ convincing."

The guys laughed, all but Paul, who watched me intently. He was hanging on so closely, waiting to hear what I was about to say.

"Uh, yeah," I said, blushing.

_Dang it, Emily!_

She was throwing her 'subtle' hints around again. Good thing Kim wasn't there to help.

"I'm really good at acting."

"Have you ever acted out a date?"

I turned around to face Paul. He wasn't joking like I'd expected. He looked serious, but he was wearing a smirk – one that made me want to melt – and I felt my knees almost giving way.

"No," I said softly, aware that all eyes were on us. "But there's a first for everything."

He smiled.

I smiled.

_Did he just… Did I just…?_

_

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Hey there, everyone!

I'm **finally** back, and yes, I know it's been _ages_ since I posted a chapter. And I didn't even get to write as often as I wanted to - vacation does that to you, I swear, you get ADD. But don't worry, I'm struggling to do all my homework at school so I can write more chapters!! :D So this one wasn't super long, but I liked it. I hope you did too?!

And, thank you to **Spinkle22**, my lovely beta for doing a great job.

And there wasn't any French in this chapter! I know! I miss it, a little. It'll come back in the next chapter. On their _date_.

Speaking of, where do you think they're going?!


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